"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different."
Oprah Winfrey--"The message that came through so clearly and stayed with me is this: Forgive, so you can truly live. Forgiveness is letting go, so the past does not hold you prisoner, does not hold you hostage. . . .
Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone the behavior or, in any way, make a wrong into a right. It simply means that you give yourself permission to release from your past. . . It's not holding on, hoping, wishing that it could have been any other way.
Forgiveness is like medicine--medicine that can heal your pain. It can bring you peace. Forgiveness is something that you do for yourself. Forgiveness means that what someone did no longer is going to affect how you live in the present moment. . . .Unforgiveness blocks you from taking the risk of love."
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I'm starting to understand how this is all supposed to work. God offers us everything. He gives us each an opportunity to have all that He has. There is no limit to it, so He can give everything to everybody. We do our best to follow him, but we all mess up. It's okay, He made a way to fix broken messed up people. We just have to believe and act. Two simple steps, over and over again, believe and act, and gradually we improve and grow. If we slip up we start again, but as much as we stay on track, we grow faster. This life isn't about what most people think it is about. It's not about winning. It's about submitting, learning, trusting, enduring, and then being lifted up. Faith and trust give the greatest power and peace.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Letter to Becci for YW lesson
Hey, Becci, My Girl,
I was asked to write you a letter about temple marriage--my testimony of temple marriage
Temple marriage is marriage the way God intends marriage to be. It is the absolute highest ordinance of the gospel. It creates a union that is meant to exist through-out eternity. It gives us crowning, exalted blessings and grants us the opportunity to multiply--or to have children, to create a posterity for ourselves and our fathers and mothers before us.
When we are pure and we enter the holy temple with that special person whom we have chosen to be a partner with us for our life here, and our eternal lives, that is a special day, a day when angels rejoice. You go to one of the most perfect and beautiful places on earth, one that has the purest spirit, in your beautiful spotless white clothes, which signify your worthiness and virtue. You are the princess for the day, about to be made a queen.
It is something to look forward to and to savor and to treasure.
Being married in the temple will be a powerful strength to you during your lifetime. It will always give you courage.
I love you, my girl!
Mom
I was asked to write you a letter about temple marriage--my testimony of temple marriage
Temple marriage is marriage the way God intends marriage to be. It is the absolute highest ordinance of the gospel. It creates a union that is meant to exist through-out eternity. It gives us crowning, exalted blessings and grants us the opportunity to multiply--or to have children, to create a posterity for ourselves and our fathers and mothers before us.
When we are pure and we enter the holy temple with that special person whom we have chosen to be a partner with us for our life here, and our eternal lives, that is a special day, a day when angels rejoice. You go to one of the most perfect and beautiful places on earth, one that has the purest spirit, in your beautiful spotless white clothes, which signify your worthiness and virtue. You are the princess for the day, about to be made a queen.
It is something to look forward to and to savor and to treasure.
Being married in the temple will be a powerful strength to you during your lifetime. It will always give you courage.
I love you, my girl!
Mom
Monday, April 8, 2013
Letter to Bethany
Hi Sweet Girl,
How has your week been? Did you get to watch conference? I attached my favorite moment of conference here for you to put on your mp3 player. I love the last climax phrase of this song. It made me cry. This was the last song on the Sunday Morning Session, the last message of that session which sang in my heart, "All is well. All is well." The spirit carries that message powerfully into my heart every time I hear the last notes of this song. I was thinking about it this morning and I had an image come into my mind of Peter walking on the water (not looking down at the waves and water around him to realize where he was or what he was doing, which would be impossible to his mind for him to do) but Peter looking at the Savior and his outstretched hand and trusting that He was not going to ask him to do anything that he couldn't do--or that the Savior wouldn't help him to accomplish, so Peter was walking on the water, ignoring the waves around him. I thought about the iron rod, how there are so many distractions along the side of the path, rivers of filth, fog, large and spacious buildings, people pointing and mocking, and I thought that the people who were holding to the rod had to keep their focus on the path and the rod and the tree and not get too distracted by everything else that was going on around them. I think that the world we live in is so full of tumult and catastrophe that it is easy to get distracted and start to sink in the waves around us. It is essential that we keep our focus on the Lord and keep our trust in His power and strength to help us walk the path before us with faith and a sure footing, even if our path is on water with waves around us, it can still be as sure and firm as solid ground, if the Lord has bid us come unto Him across that path--so with our faith in His word, we can traverse it unafraid.
"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."
We had a fun day yesterday. Michelle brought her boyfriend, Emmett home to meet the family. He isn't very tall, just taller that Michelle, but he is kind of stocky--sort of like Brandon Cowen, but broader in the chest and not pudgy. He has nice blue eyes and dimples, and he is friendly and outgoing. He has some of the same types of mannerisms that Michelle has, which is kind of interesting to watch. He laughs a lot and he talks like Michelle. He definitely fits into Michelle's group of friends in personality type. He skyped home while they were here and I got to virtually meet his family. They reminded me a bit of the Schultz family, only he is the oldest at 25, so they must be younger by a bit. Emmett also has a nice voice, as we sang the conference songs together. Everyone likes him, so that's a good thing. Michelle has been walking every day, and has lost some weight. She looks good.
We all were here for dinner after conference and we went for a walk around the park at about 8:30 p.m. It was funny to watch Isiah running after his dad. That kid can move. It has been sort of rainy this week. We would have a couple of nice sunny days and then some cool rainy ones. My daffodils are out. I trimmed the willow tree and the wisteria on Saturday. I need to trim the lilac bushes, rake the lawn and mow. . .the list goes on. Michael is going to come over and get some starts for his garden today. He only has about 2 weeks before he is going to basic training. They called the other day and asked if he would be alright moving his departure date up a bit, so he'll be leaving the 23rd of this month. At least it will be cooler, they told him. Shantel and Michael are excited, but nervous. Isiah will be with Shantel here, at least until July. That is when the next court date is. He will either have to go back to his mom at that time or be adopted out. Shantel said that 8 months is as long as they'll keep him on foster care without adopting him out, but she thinks his mom will get him back because she is trying to stay clean.
Becci had a fun time on her trip and now I am trying to get her to go back to school. She has home release for 1st period now so she doesn't have to be at school until 9:00.
Meagan has a male interest also these days. Someone from Joselynne's neighborhood was trying to set her up with this guy, Aaron, but she was already dating Brigham, so she gave them Meagan's name. So Aaron started by texting Meagan for a week or two while he was on vacation, and then last week he invited her over to his family's house in Farmington (Thursday), and they watched movies, and they got together again for games on Friday night at Brigham's house. So Meagan kind of likes him, and he is active LDS, 21, I believe. Seems like a nice enough guy. He has dark hair and eyes and he is tall--a little overweight, but not bad. Both he and Emmett have beards (goatees), but Emmett is balding and shaves his head.
So, things are always interesting around here.
Caryn got a teaching job with a residential treatment school in Magna. They have about 30 kids there of various ages --(teens) who are working through different types of issues, like eating disorders, behavioral problems, etc. They have school and counseling etc. at this center. I guess they come from all over the US and are placed in this school for 8 months at a time. Caryn will teach history and Spanish. Each kid will get an individual lesson based on their grade level needs. There is a school in Magna and one in Sandy. Caryn will alternate teaching at both schools. It does not run a regular school schedule, so she won't get summers off. She will start at $30,000 a year. She and Sammy are starting to shop for houses in the West Jordan area. Caryn will graduate the first part of May, but she is not going to "walk" because she and Sammy are planning to go to Vegas that weekend to see a comedy show to celebrate Sammy's birthday. She does want to have a graduation party at the house and invite people, so she can get money. . .Good luck with that, I say.
Other than that, nothing is really going on around here. . .;)
We love you, and miss you, and pray for you all the time. I am very proud of you and how hard you are working to learn everything you need to know. I was describing your living conditions to everyone yesterday at the kitchen table, and Sammy kept nodding. I guess he had some of the same things to get used to on his mission. He said that the first couple of months were the hardest, and then he got used to things. Here's to things getting easier for you.
We sure love you bunches.
Mom
How has your week been? Did you get to watch conference? I attached my favorite moment of conference here for you to put on your mp3 player. I love the last climax phrase of this song. It made me cry. This was the last song on the Sunday Morning Session, the last message of that session which sang in my heart, "All is well. All is well." The spirit carries that message powerfully into my heart every time I hear the last notes of this song. I was thinking about it this morning and I had an image come into my mind of Peter walking on the water (not looking down at the waves and water around him to realize where he was or what he was doing, which would be impossible to his mind for him to do) but Peter looking at the Savior and his outstretched hand and trusting that He was not going to ask him to do anything that he couldn't do--or that the Savior wouldn't help him to accomplish, so Peter was walking on the water, ignoring the waves around him. I thought about the iron rod, how there are so many distractions along the side of the path, rivers of filth, fog, large and spacious buildings, people pointing and mocking, and I thought that the people who were holding to the rod had to keep their focus on the path and the rod and the tree and not get too distracted by everything else that was going on around them. I think that the world we live in is so full of tumult and catastrophe that it is easy to get distracted and start to sink in the waves around us. It is essential that we keep our focus on the Lord and keep our trust in His power and strength to help us walk the path before us with faith and a sure footing, even if our path is on water with waves around us, it can still be as sure and firm as solid ground, if the Lord has bid us come unto Him across that path--so with our faith in His word, we can traverse it unafraid.
"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."
We had a fun day yesterday. Michelle brought her boyfriend, Emmett home to meet the family. He isn't very tall, just taller that Michelle, but he is kind of stocky--sort of like Brandon Cowen, but broader in the chest and not pudgy. He has nice blue eyes and dimples, and he is friendly and outgoing. He has some of the same types of mannerisms that Michelle has, which is kind of interesting to watch. He laughs a lot and he talks like Michelle. He definitely fits into Michelle's group of friends in personality type. He skyped home while they were here and I got to virtually meet his family. They reminded me a bit of the Schultz family, only he is the oldest at 25, so they must be younger by a bit. Emmett also has a nice voice, as we sang the conference songs together. Everyone likes him, so that's a good thing. Michelle has been walking every day, and has lost some weight. She looks good.
We all were here for dinner after conference and we went for a walk around the park at about 8:30 p.m. It was funny to watch Isiah running after his dad. That kid can move. It has been sort of rainy this week. We would have a couple of nice sunny days and then some cool rainy ones. My daffodils are out. I trimmed the willow tree and the wisteria on Saturday. I need to trim the lilac bushes, rake the lawn and mow. . .the list goes on. Michael is going to come over and get some starts for his garden today. He only has about 2 weeks before he is going to basic training. They called the other day and asked if he would be alright moving his departure date up a bit, so he'll be leaving the 23rd of this month. At least it will be cooler, they told him. Shantel and Michael are excited, but nervous. Isiah will be with Shantel here, at least until July. That is when the next court date is. He will either have to go back to his mom at that time or be adopted out. Shantel said that 8 months is as long as they'll keep him on foster care without adopting him out, but she thinks his mom will get him back because she is trying to stay clean.
Becci had a fun time on her trip and now I am trying to get her to go back to school. She has home release for 1st period now so she doesn't have to be at school until 9:00.
Meagan has a male interest also these days. Someone from Joselynne's neighborhood was trying to set her up with this guy, Aaron, but she was already dating Brigham, so she gave them Meagan's name. So Aaron started by texting Meagan for a week or two while he was on vacation, and then last week he invited her over to his family's house in Farmington (Thursday), and they watched movies, and they got together again for games on Friday night at Brigham's house. So Meagan kind of likes him, and he is active LDS, 21, I believe. Seems like a nice enough guy. He has dark hair and eyes and he is tall--a little overweight, but not bad. Both he and Emmett have beards (goatees), but Emmett is balding and shaves his head.
So, things are always interesting around here.
Caryn got a teaching job with a residential treatment school in Magna. They have about 30 kids there of various ages --(teens) who are working through different types of issues, like eating disorders, behavioral problems, etc. They have school and counseling etc. at this center. I guess they come from all over the US and are placed in this school for 8 months at a time. Caryn will teach history and Spanish. Each kid will get an individual lesson based on their grade level needs. There is a school in Magna and one in Sandy. Caryn will alternate teaching at both schools. It does not run a regular school schedule, so she won't get summers off. She will start at $30,000 a year. She and Sammy are starting to shop for houses in the West Jordan area. Caryn will graduate the first part of May, but she is not going to "walk" because she and Sammy are planning to go to Vegas that weekend to see a comedy show to celebrate Sammy's birthday. She does want to have a graduation party at the house and invite people, so she can get money. . .Good luck with that, I say.
Other than that, nothing is really going on around here. . .;)
We love you, and miss you, and pray for you all the time. I am very proud of you and how hard you are working to learn everything you need to know. I was describing your living conditions to everyone yesterday at the kitchen table, and Sammy kept nodding. I guess he had some of the same things to get used to on his mission. He said that the first couple of months were the hardest, and then he got used to things. Here's to things getting easier for you.
We sure love you bunches.
Mom
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Don't Say Nuthin' at All
My dad used to always say: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nuthin' at all." It's a quote from the Disney movie "Bambi." Thumper, the rabbit, repeats it as one of the things his father always tells him.
I think I internalized this pretty well growing up. Staying in control was expected at my house, and it was a way modeled by my parents. I don't remember them blowing off much steam. They generally approached things calmly and spoke in measured tones, even when emotional. When I have something that wants to come out that isn't nice and won't really help improve a given situation. I will usually bite my tongue and withdraw whether than attack and let the critical thoughts fly.
It's kind of funny, cause Becci often tells me to stop yelling at her when I speak sternly to her. I don't even raise my voice, and I'll tell her, I'm not yelling. She doesn't like me speaking sternly to her. I guess to her that is yelling for me. I guess it's a good thing when people notice small changes, and you don't have to make a big scene to make a point, but it does make for pretty sensitive kids that are difficult to talk to without their feeling defensive.
Perhaps people have come to know that when I'm not so happy, it is a more pleasant thing for us all, for me to retreat. Maybe they don't know that's what's going on in my head at all sometimes. That's okay too.
It sometimes takes a little while for the annoyance to burn off and the mean thoughts to dissipate out of my head. But they generally do after a bit. Then, of course I am glad I kept my cool. People think better of me this way I'm sure, and things stay more peaceful like. Probably everybody feels that way sometimes.
I guess it's not a bad notion after all.
I think I internalized this pretty well growing up. Staying in control was expected at my house, and it was a way modeled by my parents. I don't remember them blowing off much steam. They generally approached things calmly and spoke in measured tones, even when emotional. When I have something that wants to come out that isn't nice and won't really help improve a given situation. I will usually bite my tongue and withdraw whether than attack and let the critical thoughts fly.
It's kind of funny, cause Becci often tells me to stop yelling at her when I speak sternly to her. I don't even raise my voice, and I'll tell her, I'm not yelling. She doesn't like me speaking sternly to her. I guess to her that is yelling for me. I guess it's a good thing when people notice small changes, and you don't have to make a big scene to make a point, but it does make for pretty sensitive kids that are difficult to talk to without their feeling defensive.
Perhaps people have come to know that when I'm not so happy, it is a more pleasant thing for us all, for me to retreat. Maybe they don't know that's what's going on in my head at all sometimes. That's okay too.
It sometimes takes a little while for the annoyance to burn off and the mean thoughts to dissipate out of my head. But they generally do after a bit. Then, of course I am glad I kept my cool. People think better of me this way I'm sure, and things stay more peaceful like. Probably everybody feels that way sometimes.
I guess it's not a bad notion after all.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The Work Thou Gavest Me
I dropped Bethany off at the MTC today. She was so ready to go! I am confident that the MTC will be an amazing and wonderful experience for her. Bethany has always been such a helpful and uplifting person, always so willing to work hard to set and achieve high goals. I expect only the best for her.
It is my great honor to be the mother of 7 amazing people. It is my greatest joy.
I am excited to see all of my children grow, and to watch them mature and overcome their own challenges and reach for their own stars. A mission is something Bethany always wanted to do. . .Caryn also. It is satisfying to see my kids make and achieve worthy goals. Other examples of this include Michael and Shantel finding a way to nurture a child despite the obstacles that were placed in their way, Michelle finding a way to work in her chosen field, Caryn working her way to finish her education, and Sammy working his way to a good career opportunity. I am pleased when I see Kyle becoming competent in various skills and growing in the gospel. I am impressed by Meagan's creative genius, and Becci's determination to succeed and to make her way in the world. I could go on and on. . .
I had a sort of affirming joyful experience the day Bethany gave her farewell talk in church. For the sacrament hymn that day we sang the phrase: "I've done the work thou gavest me, receive my spirit unto thee." I looked up at Bethany at that moment and had the warmest feeling wash over me. Sometimes we get a special job to do, and though our job might not be as huge as the Lord's was, it is still pretty great to have been given the opportunity to be a part of the Father's plan in some small way. Bringing a soul into this world and watching them grow into someone amazing is definitely a work that is worth doing. I felt God's appreciation for watching over his precious daughter that day.
It is indeed a sacrifice to offer a child to the Lord's service, and at the same time, I am only a steward, and the child was already his.
It is my great honor to be the mother of 7 amazing people. It is my greatest joy.
I am excited to see all of my children grow, and to watch them mature and overcome their own challenges and reach for their own stars. A mission is something Bethany always wanted to do. . .Caryn also. It is satisfying to see my kids make and achieve worthy goals. Other examples of this include Michael and Shantel finding a way to nurture a child despite the obstacles that were placed in their way, Michelle finding a way to work in her chosen field, Caryn working her way to finish her education, and Sammy working his way to a good career opportunity. I am pleased when I see Kyle becoming competent in various skills and growing in the gospel. I am impressed by Meagan's creative genius, and Becci's determination to succeed and to make her way in the world. I could go on and on. . .
I had a sort of affirming joyful experience the day Bethany gave her farewell talk in church. For the sacrament hymn that day we sang the phrase: "I've done the work thou gavest me, receive my spirit unto thee." I looked up at Bethany at that moment and had the warmest feeling wash over me. Sometimes we get a special job to do, and though our job might not be as huge as the Lord's was, it is still pretty great to have been given the opportunity to be a part of the Father's plan in some small way. Bringing a soul into this world and watching them grow into someone amazing is definitely a work that is worth doing. I felt God's appreciation for watching over his precious daughter that day.
It is indeed a sacrifice to offer a child to the Lord's service, and at the same time, I am only a steward, and the child was already his.
Friday, January 25, 2013
So Many Blessings
Kirby left this afternoon to go back to his job in Iraq. We had a great 2 weeks together with our family at home. It was bitter cold outside, but inside we were full of warmth and cheer. Just a few of the highlights of the time we spent are: Christmas shopping and mission shopping, shooting guns, Christmas Eve with our nativity program and Secret Santa gifts and Christmas Day with pictures, Bethany's farewell speech and open house with so many family and friends, proxy temple sealings with our kids, freezing rain, more shooting, more shopping, and lots of good food.
I just look back on the last month or so and count all of the blessings in our lives, and I have to acknowledge and thank my Father in Heaven for his bounteous blessings to us. Everyone is progressing in their lives with God's guidance so clearly in evidence as jobs are acquired, lessons are learned, children and puppies are welcomed into the family, missions are prepared for, faith is increased, and testimonies are forged. I have to wonder and feel awe at the magnitude of the blessings we receive each and every day.
We have our challenges and our ups and downs like everyone does, but if you look at where we have been, and where we are now, and the direction everyone is headed towards, one must believe that God is in our lives taking an interest in us and clearing a way before us.
People often express their surprise, or sympathy, when they hear about the lifestyle Kirby and I have--living apart most of the time-- but I have to say that we have learned something about perspective over the time that we have been married. We have learned something about patience, and something about trust. We have learned to be grateful for the things that are good in our lives, and to worry less about the things we go through that may be somewhat different from the things others may be going through. We all have our stuff. . .some good stuff, some bad stuff. We can learn from all of these experiences. Then, it can all be good stuff.
Proverbs 3:
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
I just look back on the last month or so and count all of the blessings in our lives, and I have to acknowledge and thank my Father in Heaven for his bounteous blessings to us. Everyone is progressing in their lives with God's guidance so clearly in evidence as jobs are acquired, lessons are learned, children and puppies are welcomed into the family, missions are prepared for, faith is increased, and testimonies are forged. I have to wonder and feel awe at the magnitude of the blessings we receive each and every day.
We have our challenges and our ups and downs like everyone does, but if you look at where we have been, and where we are now, and the direction everyone is headed towards, one must believe that God is in our lives taking an interest in us and clearing a way before us.
People often express their surprise, or sympathy, when they hear about the lifestyle Kirby and I have--living apart most of the time-- but I have to say that we have learned something about perspective over the time that we have been married. We have learned something about patience, and something about trust. We have learned to be grateful for the things that are good in our lives, and to worry less about the things we go through that may be somewhat different from the things others may be going through. We all have our stuff. . .some good stuff, some bad stuff. We can learn from all of these experiences. Then, it can all be good stuff.
Proverbs 3:
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Joshua 1
9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
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