The Gentle Art of Being Stubborn

Have you ever taken one of those online personality quizzes and laughed out loud because it was so spot on right about you.  It is especially satisfying when the result has captured elements of your personality that may not be widely known by your friends or acquaintances, or even by some of your family members.

This happened to me the other day with a simple Facebook quiz.  Part of the personality description was as follows:

". . . Clean, simple, elegant and highly spiritual, white personalities are people with pure intentions and angelic characters.  You probably come across as sweet and honest.  On the downside. . .(you) can be quite stubborn if you can't get what you want--which isn't often."

So, now I have revealed to you all a piece of the real me, and if you didn't know it before, you are now considering the idea that as a side dish to this "sweet and honest" presentation. you may indeed be facing a healthy serving of stubborn on the side.

The well known Meyers Briggs personality test types me out as an INFJ. Again, note the quality of stubbornness being described in its portrayal of this personality type--"Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. . .They don't believe in compromising their ideals."

My husband, Kirby, and I both type out as INFJ on this test.  We are a stubborn sandwich.  Therefore,  through the 32 years of our happily ever after, I have, out of necessity, learned to be stubborn with style.  This is a skill I have honed through long years of trial and error, and now, out of the sweet and honest goodness of my angelic heart, I am going to attempt to give you some insights into my hard won pearls of wisdom on the subject of getting out of life what you really want. Or in other words, the gentle art of being stubborn.

I read a description a few days ago which paints a perfect picture of the type of stubbornness I aspire to--it is this:

"You must become the rock the river cannot wash away."

Now rocks are quiet things when they sit at the bottom of a stream of water.  Their rough edges get smoothed off a bit by the water rushing around them, but even so, they sit, all mossy and silent, unmoved from their positions.

The gentle art of being stubborn works something like the rock in the stream.  When someone comes at you with an opinion or position that you don't agree with, the first thing you should do is to hear them out.  If you can listen without rolling your eyes, or showing your disagreement by visual cues, you are well on the way to achieving your goal.  After you have heard them out, make sure you find a couple of items among the things that they said that you can give acknowledgement to as being good thoughts or revealing their noble intentions.  This will let them know that you really heard them, and that you can appreciate their points.  Next, you can mention that you have a couple of areas where your view differs from theirs. At this point, because you have listened to their side of the argument, they should be willing to listen to you.

Make your opposing points kindly and with no attempt to alter their position, but merely state your side of the issue clearly and succinctly.  You do not have to adjust your position at all.  You don't have to agree with their position, and you can maintain your place without giving offense, or giving way.  This technique is especially helpful when dealing with issues that you have a strongly held position on.  If you don't feel strongly about something, you can and should be flexible enough to find a way to make adjustments, so that both sides of the situation will remain happy with the conclusion.  When you have an issue that you feel you cannot compromise on--you can use this method to be a rock in the stream.  Being stubborn about things that you truly believe in will pay off in your favor over time.

By being kind and viewing things from another person's side, they generally will come to respect your position, even if they don't fully agree with it, and you can learn to coexist peacefully.  Sometimes you may end up being two rocks that sit comfortably side by side in the stream, not completely touching, or agreeing on all things, but settling companionably close--like me and my partner in rock kind, Kirby, have done.  :)

Be Generous With Expressions of Love

Sunday we had a Relief Society lesson based on Linda K. Burton's talk in April 2015, "We'll Ascend Together."  Our teacher led a discussion about marriage partners and we discussed ways that we can lift and support each other as husbands and wives.

During the lesson, I was strongly impressed to share an experience from my own life.  This is the experience that I shared:

There was a time in my life when my husband, Kirby, stopped telling me he loved me.  In fact, he told me that he couldn't say he loved me, because he wasn't sure that he did.  He said he wasn't sure he had ever loved me and he doubted if he knew how to love.

This attitude lasted for about a year, so for about a year, my husband did not tell me that he loved me.

This was a terrible year.  My marriage nearly fell apart during this time.  I became increasingly insecure, defensive, and unhappy.  Kirby became more and more angry and depressed.  I began to lose hope for our marriage's future--and I had never been hopeless before.  This was a dark time full of conflict and painful experiences.

I now fast forward in time about 12 years and everything has changed.  My husband, Kirby, tells me he loves me every day--multiple times a day.  He also tells me I am his favorite, and he expresses appreciation to me for things that I do and for who I am.  I likewise express gratitude and love for him daily and we are happy, and I feel extremely blessed.  My life is full of light and happiness and I feel completely secure in our marriage.  I have hope and joy in anticipating our eternal future together.

This dramatic change in our lives did not happen over night.  It did not happen easily, but it did happen, as we gradually learned to acknowledge the reasons we love and appreciate each other, and as we decided to speak and act with love and forgiveness--taking the Lord's atonement into our lives to lift and cleanse us. In so doing, we have completely transformed our marriage from a dark and dreary burden to a source of joy and love.

Today, I am convinced of the immense power of expressing love freely and generously to one's marriage partner. I hear excuses for not doing so, such as: it may become trite; it doesn't feel natural to me; my family just doesn't say those things that often. My response to those excuses are: It will not become trite--it will become more and more powerful.  Expressing love will become natural, and your family should say these loving words often--that is how they will become internalized and be believed.

We came from our Heavenly Father's presence. There we were surrounded by love.  We were born into a family, who, if they were doing their job properly, welcomed us with love.  We are meant and designed to function best when operating in an environment that is filled with acceptance, appreciation, and love.  Love does not have some kind of limit to it.  We can give love freely and never run out of it. In fact, the amazing thing about love is that it increases as it is shared.  Why do we tend to be so stingy with it?  Especially in our marriages, we should serve it out regularly in big heaping amounts. It doesn't make us fat, or cause us to be spoiled. Love just makes us happy, and confident, and secure.  I'm convinced it will make us healthier, and more beautiful, and more joyful.  I have seen all of this happen to me and my beloved spouse.

Please tell your spouse that you love them every day.  Express gratitude daily for the things they do for you and the sacrifices they make on your behalf. See what it will do for your marriage.  It has saved mine.

Following Promptings

A few weeks ago, Kirby and I were talking about future vacation possibilities. Kirby likes to plan vacations because it gives him something to look forward to. He mentioned that he had been looking at some large rental properties at Bear Lake, and I remarked that it would be fun to have a family reunion with my family at a place like that--so an idea was born.

I went to an endowment session for one of my nieces a few weeks later and talked to my brother, Gary, and my sister, Lori, about the family vacation idea. They both thought it was a great idea, so Kirby and I started looking for an appropriate place, and a reunion was planned, and a place booked. I mention this, because during this process, I had a lot of spiritual confirmations which included the nagging impression that I should proceed with urgency despite a lukewarm reception from some people. The promptings included which place to reserve, and they helped me to not back down on the idea, despite some rather vehement objections from a particular party.

Since the vacation place has been reserved for July of 2017, many members of the family are coming on board with excited anticipation and I know this will be a great thing.

Because of the reunion planning, I had been calling and messaging family members more often than usual. We then had a sealing at the Payson Temple for my niece, Kyndra. (Lori's daughter) just a week after the reunion thing had settled down. My brother, Terry, and his wife, Lori, were there from Texas, and my father performed the sealing. It was another great family time, so you might understand my surprise when a few days later I started getting a prompting to call my mom.

It came as this thought, "You should call your mother." Well, I had just seen my mother, and I had been calling my parents multiple times during the past weeks, so I was a little surprised. I expect to see them again soon for another wedding and we don't usually talk every week.

I got the prompting for several consecutive days, before I finally wrote it on my "To Do List" and thought, okay, okay, I'll call my mother.

When I called her, I told her I'd been getting a prompting to call her. She said that everything was fine, and we commenced talking about the day to day stuff that family members talk about, but just as we were about to close up the conversation, she told me about something that had happened to Lori a few days before.

Lori had called, she said, early in the morning. She had been emotional and had had a hard time talking. Lori had told my mother that she had had a dream that morning. In her dream, she had been in the sealing room in the temple. It was Kyndra's sealing that she was viewing. In the sealing room, seated next to me was my Grandma VanBuren, (my great grandma that passed away last year). Lori said that she was wearing white, and that she glowed. Lori said that she looked good, and was younger than she was when she died. Mom concluded her narrative by saying "Grandma was sitting next to you at the wedding, did you sense anything?" I didn't have much of a response to that question, cause I didn't remember.

After the phone call, I tried to remember the sealing. It had been so beautiful. When we walked into the sealing room, the stained glass windows on the west side of the room were sparkling from the sunset. The rays of sparkling multicolored light seemed to reflect off of the mirrors and the chandeliers so that the first impression I had upon walking into the room was that it sparkled with refracted light. It was stunning. I did think, after I sat down and was waiting for things to begin, that Grandma and Grandpa would want to be there, and perhaps they were there. I guess I kind of expected that Grandma would come if she could. There was an empty chair by me, and the thought did pass through my mind that she might sit there, just as I often think that the spirit that I am doing work for might be with me during an ordinance, but I hadn't focused much on the idea since leaving the temple, and of course I didn't see anything, though the sealing was very spiritual and uplifting.

I think that Grandma wanted me to know that she was there. She let Lori know that she was there. Lori told Mom, but Grandma wanted me to also know that she had come, that is why I kept getting the prompting to "Call your mother."

Since I called, the prompting has gone, just like the urgency to plan for and reserve the location for the family reunion has gone--and I am sleeping better through the night again.

That's my angel story. Not as dramatic as some, perhaps, but evidence enough to add credence to my conviction that angels are among us.

I did watch "The Cokeville Miracle" with Bethany and Meagan last night. It was very good. I would recommend it.

Though we may not see them, our deceased family members continue to be invested in and involved in our lives. Promptings need to be followed--I have come to understand this.  Recognizing promptings when they come is a skill I am striving to develop.  I am trying to maintain a sufficient worthiness to receive promptings, to have my guardian angels remain near me always, and to always be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

It's All About Choices

Ponder thought:

The war in heaven and on earth is not actually a good vs. evil war.  Christ has already redeemed us—all of us from sin.  He has overcome the effects of sin for all men, so we don’t really have to fight about that.

The war is about personal agency—choice.  Our Father wants us to learn to follow Him by choice, to choose to follow Him from among all other choices offered to us, and to do this despite obstacles, abuses, scorn, or even physical danger.  If we will do this, and follow Him because we love Him; He will give us all that He has, and He will erase all of the mistakes that we have made along the way as we were learning how to humble ourselves, master our own wills, and become one with Him.

In order to be like Him, we have to be willing to accept and allow the same personal agency for everyone else.   We are not allowed to limit anyone else’s agency or to block their progress or their choices--whether we agree with them or not.  If we do, we are sinning, and we are not following God.  We are supposed to love everyone the way that God loves us.  That means that we should allow each person choices and opportunities. We should love and set a good example.  We should teach and be patient, but we should never force or coerce a person to do something that is against their will.  We are not to become angry or vindictive or contentious with people who disagree with us or who may make choices or conclusions that we disapprove of.  We are to be calm and loving and patient and long suffering and enduring.  We are supposed to learn to be one with Jesus Christ and receive His Spirit, which will then lead us to all truth.  When we have the spirit of truth with us we will not be deceived or fearful, or afraid, and I believe we cannot then be forced to act against the direction of the spirit by any man or spirit being.

Ponder thought:

Man is not good by design; he is good by choice.

God is not good by design; He is good by choice.

God knows all things and understands all things, both good and evil.  He chooses to be perfectly good.  Intelligence is on the side of God—not man.  Man limits intelligence by rejecting God.  God is not naïve.  He does not choose good because of a lack of options, but because He understands consequences.

An hour a day is all we ask.

“An hour a day is all we ask.”

This is the line that my husband, Kirby, repeats over and over as he encourages me to exercise every day.

Kirby started exercising about 18 months ago when he was evacuated from the embassy in Baghdad due to security concerns brought on by the increasing threat from ISIS in the area.  His trip home was delayed for some months last summer and his regular work routine interrupted by the increased security. Stuck in Bosra due to visa problems, he and some colleagues found themselves with time on their hands. They started spending several hours each day at the gym working out.  Kirby greatly increased his strength and fitness during this time, and he has continued to include exercise and fitness as an integral part of his schedule ever since.

During the same period, I was also working on improving my eating habits and counting calories.  We had both improved our health and fitness during this time—but I was struggling to achieve a pattern of regular exercise.

“An hour a day is all we ask.” Kirby would say, to encourage me to exercise daily.

With that phrase in mind, I started to work out.  Each day I would ride my elliptical and lift my hand weights and I would watch the clock on the wall.  After one hour, I would be done.  The result was that over time I got stronger and trimmer.

I began to include other things in my schedule as well--things that I could do daily to strengthen me in other ways.  During November of last year, I began posting a gospel thought to Facebook on a daily basis.  This required me to spend time each morning studying a gospel topic, so that I could find a thought to post.  This small habit has brought the spirit into my life in greater abundance and through it I have developed a love for studying the gospel.  Over the past year, I have developed a stronger desire to pray, to listen to hymns, to read gospel centered books, and to do service for others.  This has occurred because I feel the spirit as I start each day with gospel study, and being reluctant to lose the spirit that I have invited into my day, I then try to do other things that encourage it to stay with me.  I now feel the burning of the Holy Ghost in my heart most days, for a few hours a day, and I tend to recognize promptings and use them to guide my days--paying more attention to them than I once had done.

I have had music callings during the last year.  These callings have required me to practice the piano and organ more often.  One of the callings has been to play for the choir.  These songs are difficult for me to learn.  I have started to include daily practice of the piano into my routine.  I am increasing my proficiency in playing the piano, and developing a stronger love of gospel music at the same time.  I have found that hymns, and lyrics of hymns are in my mind much of the time.  This has been a great blessing to me.

I spend time talking to Kirby each day, generally an hour or more, and I often get the chance to talk to other family members or friends as well.  This is also uplifting to me.  I especially love sharing some of the things I am learning with them, and being inspired by them in return.

Now I find that my days are full of good things.  I am happy.  I enjoy time with my family, I learn, and I develop daily.  This is a good life.  I still struggle to accomplish all of my goals, and I pray for the energy to accomplish work and tasks that are mine to do.  I am trying to add regular writing time to my day, and I have been trying to add yard work, and house work to the daily routine in a way that will keep everything balanced and running well for our family and our home. 

I have not perfected my plan completely, but I have learned a lot. 

“An hour a day is all we ask, “ has served me well this year, and I expect it will continue to inspire me towards good works and positive outcomes for many years to come.

Thank you, Kirby.

Being and Doing

A few weeks ago I went on a retreat with a few friends.  One of the activities that we did while there was to find a place outside and spend some time with nature to, "See what nature would teach us."  I walked up a farm road a few hundred yards, and set up my camp chair next to an irrigation canal. Tall rugged mountains were directly in front of me; an orchard was to my left; farmland was behind me; and a few miles down the hillside I could see the freeway.  I could see cars and trucks flowing past on the interstate system by turning away from the mountain to look down into the valley. In this place I sat for some time and wrote down impressions. One of the impressions that I recorded was: "People are busy--always going somewhere.  Nature just is.  It fulfills its purpose by being not by doing."

I have thought a lot about this lesson that nature taught me since that day.  I keep finding connections to my nature lesson as I study the scriptures and ponder the correlation between being and doing. I made a list the other day of gospel concepts that involve being and others that involve doing. This is my list (it is not exhaustive):

Being:
be humble
be obedient
be pure/chaste
be honest
be faithful
be believing
be still
be prayerful

Doing/Actions:
obey
labor
seek
serve
teach
love
give
walk/run
do good
build up
sew/reap
knock
ask

So today I was thinking about this again and I decided that the being and the doing part of being righteous are inseparable, that you cannot do good unless you are good. Sometimes I think we lose the balance between the two, and we end up doing things without tapping in to the reason that we're doing them.  Then we lose the joy in doing those things, and we end up without root, all top, easy to pull out of the ground.

I have been weeding today.  We have big weeds in our side yard.  Some of the weeds are easy to pull because their roots are shallow and their tops are big and heavy, but others I cannot pull up by myself, I have to dig them up or cut them off because their roots are too deep or too wide and spreading.  I think that we can compare these weeds to my concept here.  The tops of the weeds are the doing part of life.  Everyone can see this part.  There are seeds that grow here, and can spread out and create more of the same thing.  The roots are like the being part.  They keep the tops nourished and firmly grounded.  Both parts of the plant are important, but the roots are hidden away.  Unless you are an experienced weeder, you may not recognize by sight alone which weeds have complex root systems and which are easily pulled up after a bit of rain softens the soil.

I think that in the same way the concept of being righteous grounds us and keeps us strong in doing good works.  Good works naturally spring from the good desires of our "being righteous" hearts.  If our hearts and desires are not good or if we are hiding unrighteousness, we can still do good things, but our actions spring mainly from the desire to appear good rather than from actually being good, and this goodness is shallow.

I have been reading the teachings of Paul lately for Sunday School.  He teaches about the law and the spirit, and that the law cannot save you by itself, that you have to have the spirit.  He also talks about the need to act from a place of charity in order for our works to be of value. Jesus spent a lot of time decrying hypocrites, which were people who appeared to be good, but who didn't actually act from a place of goodness--therefore their works weren't actually accounted to them as righteous acts.

Elder Scott said:"Righteous character is what you are. It is more important than what you own, what you have learned, or what you have accomplished."

I think that nature is teaching me some important lessons here about the importance of being. Taking time to become, not just to act, is something we have to think about today. We have a society full of going and doing, but we tend to lose focus on what people truly are. I think that we have a tendency to get out of balance, and when we lose balance, we struggle to find joy in our lives and purpose for all of our living.

So, in all of your doing today--don't forget to take some time to become, and just to be.

Yes, but. . .answers

Have you ever been given a “Yes, but. . .” answer.

A “Go ahead, but be warned that the way ahead is not easy.” answer?

One that is akin to God commanding Adam and Eve not to partake of the forbidden fruit, when the instruction was basically:  Don’t partake of this fruit, but it’s your choice, but be aware that if you do partake of it you will die, but it’s your choice.

I believe that this kind of prompt is given when we can gain much by making the choice to go ahead with the hard thing, but that there is also a risk that we should be aware of before we proceed, and if we proceed anyway, it is our choice, but God has warned us that the way before us will be difficult and hazardous.

I can think of two instances that I was given a warning like this:

The first was when I married Kirby.  I got a strong “yes, but. . .” answer.  I had a strong prompting that Kirby was the one I was meant to marry, but I also got a strong “There is something wrong with him.” warning at the same time. I got this “Proceed with caution.” warning several times during our courtship.  It first occurred when Kirby and I were just getting to know each other.  We went for a walk to the park one evening and Kirby was talking about himself.  I had a strong impression come to my mind which clearly stated: “Something is wrong with him.” It came as one clear thought.

The next warning came the day he asked me to marry him. I hesitated answering him on that day because I wasn’t sure about him, and then on the way home as we were talking Kirby expressed some doubts about his own worthiness that really concerned me, but after praying about my decision over several days, I felt prompted to proceed and gave him a yes answer and I felt good about it. 

That night I talked to his mom on the phone.  It was so weird.  We were announcing our engagement to our parents over the phone, and Iola asked me the question: “Couldn’t you find someone better?” She has since denied that was what she said or intended to say, but it was shocking enough to me at the time that I clearly remember it happening. This made me feel pretty defensive and protective of Kirby, however—so I guess that warning backfired big time.  I think I felt more committed to my decision to proceed after that. What was happening here that would make a mother say such a thing? I couldn’t imagine why a mom would do that,

Finally, the last warning was at the alter in the temple, I had a big hesitation moment during the ceremony when the enormity of the commitment I was making hit me really hard, and I was made really aware of the fact that I didn’t really know Kirby very well.  I thought about backing out even then, and I didn’t think that that was a normal thought to be having over the altar.  The decision that I ultimately and repeatedly made to continue my course despite these repeated strong warnings that Kirby had some unknown problems that would be challenging for him, and that would be difficult for me, speaks volumes to the strength of the bond that I felt toward him to counterbalance the warnings. This bond was established over a very short period of time and was based on the other side of the revelations I was receiving that Kirby was first, someone with whom I had had a relationship before we came to this life; second that I had chosen to walk this path with him before my life began; and third, that he was the person who made me feel whole and complete.

I have since come to understand that the choice of who I would marry was mine to make here on earth, as it was in the pre earth life, and that I was given information that made me aware, both here and there, that this choice was not going to make my life easier, and that it was completely my choice whether I was to go through with it or not.  I was given a prompting to proceed, yes, you found the right guy—which contained a strong warning attached. I did not understand fully the full weight of my decision or my warning until much later in my life.  I have since had that decision reaffirmed.  This has occurred in recent years, and the growth, strength, and knowledge that I have ultimately accumulated because of the difficulties Kirby and I have overcome together has become extremely valuable to me at this point in my life. I feel that Kirby and I have grown, both individually and as a couple through the things which we have suffered due to Kirby’s bi-polar disorder, and that the overcoming of this challenge which we have experienced has provided, and will continue to offer critical learning experiences for us both spiritually and physically.

The second time that I had a blessing which was accompanied by a warning which occurred at the same time happened when I got a priesthood blessing before Bethany was born.  I was given a blessing that reassured me that all would be well with the baby, while at the same time receiving a strong sense that something would go wrong but would ultimately be okay.  This also turned out to be true.  Bethany was a strong and healthy baby—but we almost killed her through some dumb medical decisions—which were made based on an inadequate understanding of what was happening during that delivery—luckily Bethany made it--after a life flight to Spokane and spending 9 days in the NICU, and ultimately everything turned out okay and she suffered no permanent harm. Again I learned some valuable lessons through that experience. I have always believed that Bethany also has been a stronger person because she had to fight so hard to stay here on earth in the first place. I really believe that this is true.

The point of my story—“Yes, but. . .” answers happen.

That’s my musing for today.

Obedience and Agency

As mortals we have our agency.  This is a God given right to choose our own path.  While we are on earth, we have full freedom to choose good or evil--God does not control our choices.  Opposition of good and evil exists in this life, the one in contrast to the other.  While we are mortal, we are being tested to determine whether we will choose good or evil. With each choice we are able to observe the consequences of our choice and we can also witness the actions of others around us, even as viewed throughout history, and we can see the consequences of the actions of a lot of different people. We are meant to learn from this experience and to become wise enough to learn to choose the good over the evil by our own will.

God has also given us commandments to help us understand what we should do while we are here.  He has sent prophets and has had them record His revelations to them. He has explained the laws that should govern us here. He has promised that blessings will follow obedience to His laws, while sorrow, and captivity to evil and to man's physical carnal nature will result if we indulge in sin.

We have complete freedom over our actions and reactions while we are in this life, but we do not have control over other's choices.  We do not have control over the governing principles of this life, such as physical laws, or natural consequences, nor are we at liberty to redefine good and evil. or to alter God's purpose for our being here.

When we die, we are finished with this mortal life, but our eternal life continues.  We will be assigned to positions of responsibility and allotted an increase in intelligence, power, and influence after death based on how well we have demonstrated a wise use of our agency here, or in other words if we have learned to be submissive to God's laws and have freely chosen to be governed by them, we are given unlimited resources after this life and eternal unlimited potential to continue to learn and grow and exercise agency.  If we have failed to comply with heavenly law here on earth, we are given a limited range of agency in our next life, and a limited potential to learn and grow.  Our agency will be measured out in the next life according to the ability we have demonstrated here to wisely manage our power of choice.

Prayers

I am at a place in my life where I can look back over many of my important life events and see them in the context of a greater whole.

I have been struck recently with the number prayers that I have had answered throughout my life, sometimes in rather remarkable and immediate ways, other times in ways that took rather significant amounts of time to realize.

Going back in my memory, the first that I remember an answer to prayer occurring was around the time that my family moved to Santaquin, UT--so about 1971. I would have been about 12 years old.

I remember feeling deeply lonely one night due to the move, because I didn't have any friends yet and everything seemed so different to me.  I remember praying and expressing my feelings of sadness and loneliness in my prayer. I said to Heavenly Father,  "I really need a friend right now. Would you be my friend?"  The feeling I got then was like being enveloped in light and warmth.  It was so overwhelming and powerful that it scared me a little.  I thought an angel might be about to appear and I was a bit nervous about that. I got up and went into the bathroom.  I had tears running down my face and I very much needed a tissue, but I knew from that time on that Heavenly Father was, and wanted to be my friend.

The next time I had a prayer answered was when my Dad was Bishop.  It would have been a year or two later perhaps.  I was working on personal progress for Young Womens, which was then called MIA (Mutual Improvement Association).  I had started reading the Book of Mormon, and was trying to pray for a witness of the truthfulness of the book.  I was trying to get a spiritual confirmation, but nothing was happening.  I had a personal progress interview with my Dad and we were discussing my testimony.  I guess I explained the troubles I was having, because he said this to me about gaining a testimony: "Sometimes we are standing in the rain and we're asking Heavenly Father if it's raining." That's when my witness came. The spirit testified to my spirit in that moment that I knew, that I already knew the gospel was true and that the Book of Mormon was true--I didn't really need to seek another witness--but I could, in confidence, rely on that which I already believed to be true--because it was.




I am reading a book called "journey to the Veil" by John Pontius. I really am learning a lot from him. I liked the concept I read this morning: "This principle of asking with complete faith for those things that we have already been promised is of such transcendent and magnificent power in parting the veil that Moroni actually says it twice. (Ether 12:19-21) We take the teachings we receive and live them in our lives. . . Then we return in mighty prayer and having been obedient and faithful in all things, we courageously petition the Lord with perfect faith because He, the God of salvation promised us that we could. . . we petition the Lord in mighty, mighty, prayer--and we receive the promises." I recognize this pattern in my life. There have been times that I have asked for a specific blessing based on my faithfulness, and I have always received (generally rather quickly) the blessings I petitioned for. A few times I had to wait for them, but often I had already passed through the trial and was ready to receive the blessing--I just had to ask. Some examples: When I asked for an answer to whether or not I should go on a mission--I used a patriarchal blessing promise to get that answer, and it was immediate. When I wanted to meet my future husband, I used my mission efforts, and my Patriarchal Blessing promise to pull that blessing down, and it happened almost immediately. When I desired to move from Vegas for the protection of my faith and the faith of my children, I prayed for that blessing, and it happened very quickly afterwards. When I prayed that Kirby would return to activity in the church and to re-enter the temple, I was told to be patient--and it took 10 years--but it was fulfilled exactly as I was told it would occur--exactly. When I was worried about Bethany being in the eye of the hurricane on her mission, I was told to pray for angels, and I am convinced that angels were there. If you look in your own life, you will start to see how your prayers are answered. If you have been promised blessings, you have the right to call them down from heaven if you have shown faithfulness in following the commandments and feel that you are ready to receive those blessings. This is a true principle.

Healing Through Faith in Jesus Christ

I know that when Christ heals me, He heals me completely.

I know that when Christ cleanses me.  He cleanses me completely.
The cleansing and healing of Jesus Christ are performed according to our faith, 

so it may occur in layers as our faith develops sufficiently to allow it to happen.

Gratitude Journal Continued

Why I am grateful for Michelle

I am grateful for Michelle’s purity and faith.

I personally have been strengthened by her pure, childlike faith over the years.

Michelle has the ability to perceive and discern truth, and to follow it in order to walk rightly.

I am grateful for her ability to create beautiful things, and her ability to follow instructions to repair or build things.

She is very intelligent and she uses this intelligence to plan wisely, to remember details, and to improve things.

She is very perceptive.

I am grateful that Michelle has chosen to focus her skills on being a mother at this time, and I can see clearly the benefits that Toby receives from her devoted care.

I am grateful that Michelle has found her soul mate and is finding joy with him in building a family together.

I am grateful that she is creating a gospel centered home, and that she is an example to others by following gospel teachings and receiving the blessings of obedience in her life.

I have the deepest respect and admiration for her.

Why I am grateful for Caryn

I love Caryn’s exuberant spirit.

I am grateful for her ability to connect to people.

Caryn has a strong talent for communication and is willing and able to take control of a situation and create organization out of people chaos.

I am grateful that she and I can talk openly about many subjects.

I am grateful for her companionship as we have taken temple trips together.

It has helped me become comfortable going to the temple again.

I am grateful for her talents, which are many, such as music, photography, teaching, and being a good friend.

I appreciate her determination, and admire the way she goes after what she wants and achieves it, without needing outside prompting or encouragement. She is a self starter and finisher.

Caryn has a way of making many people of differing backgrounds feel accepted and a part of her circle.

She has always been a person who has challenged the status quo, and marched to the beat of the drum that she hears.

I will always expect great things from her.

Why I am grateful for Kyle

I feel a great debt of gratitude to Kyle for picking up much of the burden over the last 6 years that Kirby hasn’t been able to fully carry since he has been working overseas.

I am grateful for the many practical skills that Kyle brings to the table such as mechanical knowledge, carpentry skills, welding, driving, and other skills that have proven to be so valuable to our family.

I am grateful for his willingness to work hard, and to be precise and careful with his work.

I am grateful for his generosity of spirit and his willingness to give of his time for the benefit of others.

I am grateful for the example he is to his siblings and his friends and for the light he holds up, which is his faith in Jesus Christ and his determination to follow Him.

I am grateful that he is finding success in his employment, and I look forward to watching him continue to succeed in many areas of his life in the future as he continues on the path he has set for himself.

Why I am grateful for Bethany

I am grateful for Bethany’s helpful and kind attitude.

I am grateful for her desire to gain knowledge and to challenge herself.

I am grateful for her true compass that always seems to point her towards good works and productive ends.

I am grateful that she is anxiously involved in doing good and has a desire to serve God and others around her.

I am grateful for her happy spirit and joyful ways.

I am grateful that she comes to me to share her experiences and to ask questions.

People are drawn to Bethany, because she personifies goodness. She has a true and honest heart, and a pure love towards others.

I am honored to be her mom.

Why I am grateful for Meagan

I am grateful that Meagan likes to be home—like me.  She is a comfort and help to me.

Meagan has helped me so many times to teach 3^rd graders, or to do a project I needed to do for Young Women’s, or for a family reunion, etc.

She is amazing with little children.

She takes care of Diesel.

Meagan has so many talents, mainly self taught, that I am repeatedly amazed at her ability to gain such proficiency through simply developing an interest and investing time. These interests include drawing and painting, both traditional and computer aided, computer animation, playing the piano, movie and story critiquing, even shooting and taking apart guns, or running a chop saw. Her interests are varied and wherever her mind leads her—she can develop proficiency.

I remember being surprised when she, on multiple occasions (including her confirmation blessing as I recall) was promised by priesthood power that she would become an influence in her community, but I am no longer surprised, only waiting to see that promise fulfilled as she continues to develop these wonderful talents that she has.

Why I am grateful for Becci

I am grateful for Becci’s determination and for her independent spirit.

I am grateful that Becci has a strong will and is not intimidated by others.

Becci does not back down from what she believes to be right.

She will defend others from injustice, and will, without hesitation, step up and step in to help someone in need.

Becci has a talent for having fun and enjoying life.

People are drawn to her for her bright happy spirit and her beautiful smile.

Becci has been tested in her youth in difficult ways, and has come through her tests with stronger faith and more wisdom.

I trust Becci to make good decisions and to follow them through, because she wants to do right, and to learn and grow in truth.  She has good desires.

Becci is like the cherry on top—like an added bonus on a bowl of ice-cream, in that she tops off the family with a bright, shiny, pretty flourish, and give us an extra measure of pure pizzaz!

I love to see her take on the world.

Why I am grateful for Shantel

It is wonderful, as a mother, to see your children find spouses who complete them, and who have complimentary talents and desires.

I am grateful that this has happened for Michael.

I am grateful for Shantel’s persistence and determination in pursuing her goals.

She doesn’t seem to weary or falter.

She dedicates her time to those pursuits that are the most valuable to her, and she has prioritized her family and her children-- first to obtain the children in the first place, and then to make sure that every effort is being made to aid their progress and enrich their lives.

Surely God is pleased with her dedicated service and determination.

I am grateful for Shantel’s example of courage, pure faith and love, and for her commitment to her family, both her immediate, and her extended family.

She has been, and is, a blessing and example in my life, and in our family.

Why I am grateful for Sammy

I’ve liked Sammy since the first time I met him.

I always thought he and Caryn would make a good team.

I like Sammy’s quiet strength, and his steadiness.

I am grateful for his desires to do good works and to be fair and honest.

Sammy is not afraid to work hard.  He sees what needs to be done and he does it.

Sammy gives back to people and he is loyal.

Sammy looks for ways to make improvements in his life, and then he implements these improvements.

Sammy is observant.  He pays attention.

I am grateful for Sammy’s honesty, integrity, and patience.

I am grateful that Sammy has a true compass that helps him find his way—which compass is the Light of Christ.  I am grateful that he has learned to follow that compass, because it has taken him out of darkness into light, and as he continues to follow that light, he will find that it will never fail him.

Why I am thankful for Emmett

I have to admit, it was a little weird when I first met Emmett, because he and Michelle were so well suited--so much alike in mannerism and expression that it was very evident, strikingly so--and quite surprising.

I am grateful that Michelle has clearly found her soul mate.

I am grateful for the way Emmett treats Michelle and Tobit.

I am grateful that he is loving and kind, and that he clearly treasures them.

I am grateful that Emmett works hard to provide for his family and has made it possible for Michelle to be a full time mom.

I am grateful that Emmett honors his priesthood, and makes church duties a priority.

I am grateful for Emmett’s talents, which are many—such as computer programming, cooking, and communication skills.

I am grateful that Emmett clearly treasures his extended family, and is anxious to serve and help others.

I am confident that Emmett will lead his family well, and be a great husband and father.