Individual Worth

I am a daughter of my Heaven Father, who loves me; and I love him.
I will stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places.
These are the first lines of the YW theme, personalized a bit. They explain who I am, and what my mission on this earth is.
Do I have value? I have infinite and eternal value.
Does my Father in Heaven love me? My Father loves me with an infinite and eternal love that began before this world was formed and that extends far beyond the days that I will spend on this earth.
Why is it important, not only to know this, but to internalize it and to truly believe it is true? Because it is the key for me to become worthy to return to Him.
Why do I say this?
What is the first and great commandment according to Jesus?
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy mind, and with all thy soul;
and the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
How can I love my neighbor as myself if I don't love myself? I can't.
There is a key here, that I think we often miss, or misunderstand.
A very smart woman once said: To say I love you one must first be able to say the I.--Ayn Rand
If you do not love yourself, you cannot love your neighbor; and if you compromise a person's ability to love themselves, you limit their ability to love anyone else. That is abuse.
God has said: This is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
He has also said: Man is that he might have joy
and we know that: . . .God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life.
That is a lot of love.
How can we show love for our Father in Heaven?
I John 5:
3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
How can we show love for our neighbor?
2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.

Now what we tend to be thinking when we hear things like keep the commandments, Love God, is: but what if I make mistakes? You know I am so weak and so imperfect that I know I am not worthy of such a big responsibility. I don't know if I can do this. I'm not sure that God can really love me because he knows all of my faults, these people, they don't really know how flawed I am, oh sure, God loves Sister Crowley, but I'm not so sure he loves me.  So let's talk about self depreciation, and where that comes from.

Let me start by drawing a comparison.  I'm going to tell you a little about my husband's occupation.
My husband, Kirby, is trained in military intelligence. Initially he was trained as a radio intercept operator. He was a Korean linguist at the time, and it was his job to listen to radio transmissions of the enemy and to gather and report intelligence about their position and movements.
He was later trained as an interrogator and  a reports editor. He was then responsible to gather and report information he could obtain from interviewing prisoners or informants and by asking them questions to find out where weapons were cashed, or who our military enemies were. Today, he is a screener and a data manager. He makes sure that the people who work at our bases and at our embassy in Iraq are not people who's design is to infiltrate our defenses and to do us harm.  He does this by running detailed background checks and interviews to clarify each person's purpose and to judge their character.
Basically the mission focus of his jobs through out the years could be summarized in this way:  know your enemy, know his position and strength,  and keep him from infiltrating your defenses.

I want to Compare the job Kirby does to our spiritual battle with Satan. Satan is our spiritual enemy. We need to be aware of his position and strength to keep him from infiltrating our defenses.

We should know the tactics Satan uses against us. We should realize that he is just as eager to infiltrate our defenses as any earthly enemy could be.

I want you to know and understand that one of the most commonly used and most effective strategies Satan uses against us is to attack our self worth. He knows that by weakening our ability to love ourselves that he will weaken our love of God, and that he will weaken our faith in God's plan of redemption, and thereby he will make us doubt God's infinite power to save and heal us.  He will also weaken our ability to love and serve others by making us doubt our ability to be of use to others.

Satan's attacks include self criticism, excessive guilt, negative worldly influences, fear, and shame, Thoughts like: I'm not good enough, I'm not attractive, I'm not smart, I don't have any unique talents,  no one cares about me,  or I can't do that it's scary, it's too hard. I can't come to my Father in Heaven in prayer, he won't answer me, or I can't go to church, I'm not worthy. Heavenly Father doesn't or can't love me because I am imperfect or insignificant.  These are stratagems and ideas Satan uses against us.  They are some of his fiery darts.
How do we counter or block these attacks? One way we can do this is to fortify ourselves and our children by developing unshakable faith in Jesus Christ. Unshakable faith is developed by simple practices like the ones given to us by our YW's Leader Elaine Dalton at our leadership training meeting last year:
She told us that there are a few simple things that we need  to do every day, minimum daily requirements, you could say.  They are:
Pray, at least twice
Read the scriptures at least 5 minutes
Smile
Obey the commandments

She reminded us that we need also to have spiritual experiences that build our faith on a regular basis.

I read a study this week done in 2006  by BRENT L. TOP, a PROFESSOR OF CHURCH HISTORY, AND BRUCE A. CHADWICK, PROFESSOR OF SOCIOLOGY, BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY. They researched the development of self worth in LDS young people. I quote from their results:

Our study showed that the young people with the strongest feelings of self-worth gained this confidence through gospel learning and spiritual experiences that took place primarily in the home. Regular family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening are cornerstones for establishing a household of faith. All of these activities are closely associated with stronger feelings of confidence in youth.

It appears that a spiritual home environment, coupled with involvement in Church activities and programs, guides young people to know the truthfulness of the gospel for themselves. “We parents need to take seriously our responsibility to provide religious training in the home so that our children will in turn take religion seriously and personally,” taught Elder Joe J. Christensen, then of the Seventy.
We found that those young people who regularly prayed and studied the scriptures on their own felt the Spirit more often in their lives and reported stronger feelings of individual worth and confidence. One of the most important things parents can do is to encourage their children to personally call upon their Heavenly Father to open and close each day. This one religious practice was found to be even more important than participation in family prayer. Family prayer and scripture study can be viewed as “external” religious practices, but individual prayer and scripture study are “internal” and nurture a personal relationship with God. end quote

I can personally testify of the importance of building a reservoir of testimony and a fortress of faith while young. The testimony I built from my own personal experiences with prayer and scripture study during my youth and young adulthood fortified me when I was subjected to trials later on in my life. I could call upon memories of testimony building experiences in my past when the difficulties of life threatened to shake my faith. We need to encourage our youth and children to build such reservoirs and fortresses for themselves.

I can see how the youth programs of the church are striving to build up our children and youth in these ways.
The YW/YM themes reflect these purposes: Since I have been YW leader we have had these themes:
Be strong and of a good courage be not afraid. Neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
13th article of faith—We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolant, and in doing good to all men, indeed we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul, we believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured all things, and hope to be able to endure all things, if there is anything virtuous, lovely or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
Note the action words in this article of faith: we believe, we hope, we seek, we endure.
And our theme for this year is
Arise and shine forth that thy light may be a standard for the nations.

Arise and shine forth!
Be a light, be a standard!

How?  I will tell you about three lessons I have learned personally through answers to my prayers that have helped me to learn to put my trust in God and to Love Him.

First lesson:  Be prepared and ye shall not fear.

I remember as a missionary, a time when this scripture was an answer to my humble prayer to be able to be a light, and to be a standard  for some of the people in the nation of Japan.  I felt my inadequacy.  I felt weak, I was still learning Japanese, and I was trying to testify of Jesus Christ and teach lessons about the gospel in a language that was difficult and new to me,  My companion told me that I needed to look up and make eye contact with the people I was teaching, but I found that I was thinking so hard  that I wasn't sure I could do this,  I was afraid. So I prayed for help, and clearly to my mind came the phrase:  Be prepared and ye shall not fear.

Second lesson:  Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not to thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct thy path.

Often in my life I feel overwhelmed as I don't know how to fill all of the responsibilities that I have been given in the limited time or with the limited energy that I have allotted to me.  I have learned to trust that if I am doing what I can to prepare myself, that the spirit will then step in and guide my way.  He has directed my path countless times as I have learned to listen for that still small voice to guide my actions and magnify my efforts.

We will all make mistakes.  Count on it.  We will have trials and disappointments.  We all have weaknesses and faults, but we must not let our mistakes, our trials, our disappointments, or our weaknesses block our path or take us away from the light and knowledge that God would send to us to guide us.

We must believe, hope, endure, seek, and shine forth!

Third lesson:  We must remember that we are noble spirit sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father, who loves us.  We must trust in His power to direct our lives and we must go to him for support, encouragement, protection, and for the great love that He can send to us.

The first answer to a personal prayer that I remember vividly,  occurred when I was about 13 years old.  I felt alone and a bit socially awkward at the time.  I strongly desired to find a friend who could understand me.  I asked Heavenly Father, in prayer, if He would be my friend.  When I did, I had the most marvelous feeling come over me; a feeling of warmth and love and light. I have had that feeling return at various times through out my life, to varying degrees.  It comes when I have sought for my Father's guidance in prayer, or at times when I have been in holy places, like the temple, or often when I have been at church, or when I have been bearing testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel to others.

I am confident that you have felt this love also.  I know that our Father in Heaven loves all of his children and that He will come to each of us when invited.  Remember His love when you are in dark places, when you are afraid, or tempted, or sad.  Remember to "look up" as President Monson has counseled, when you have problems, or concerns, or weights that you carry.  Let Him help you and sustain you through your hard times and your troubles.  Let Him heal you of your pains and sorrows.

Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.  For whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

To this I add my witness, that God lives, that He loves us, that His purpose, and the purpose of this life's experience and the mission of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is to help us and to empower us to return to Him, our Father, and I do so in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Absolute Value

I've had an idea going through my mind the last couple of days.  It is, that a soul has absolute value, kind of like a number.  It can have a negative or positive influence, but it's value is absolute.

This thought runs in conjunction with a lot of things that have happened over the last week, including two young men committing suicide at our local high school; a teacher at my school having a mental break while at school with accompanying bizarre behavior and subsequent hospitalization; and my brother in law having unexpected severe complications from an infection, which landed him in the hospital in ICU with his body systems failing.  He is still battling for his life.

This all occurred from Sunday to Wednesday of this week.  By Friday we were all mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, and today I have been spending a lot of time processing.

In contrast, Wednesday we had a wonderfully uplifting New Beginnings for Young Womens, and the week has improved since then.  Last week and the week before, Kirby was here, and things were marvelous.  Thankfully that high has kept me insulated a bit.  Kirby is stuck in Kuwait, by the way.  Things are unsettled enough to make re-entering Iraq at this time, unsafe.  He is trying to get some paperwork done to help this process along today.  We will see how that goes.

I wrote a short article to submit to a ward member's blog on mood and psychological disorders today.  I will attach that here.  I also have been asked to teach a lesson on suicide tomorrow, and I get to talk in church next Sunday.  I hope to obtain the spirit's direction for both tasks.

Here is the article.  Kirby also added a comment.

Hi, I'm Sherri. Shauna asked me if I would contribute to her U-2 site. I-2 have dealt with a BCD. My husband of 28 years, and now my daughter, 15 years old, are afflicted with bi-polar II disorder. In case you are not aware, BP II consists of periods of mania, depression, and mixed episodes. Mixed episodes are times when both mania and depression are evident. BP II is one of the most difficult BCDs to correctly identify and treat. There are many symptoms of this disorder, but impulsive behavior, broken relationships, and suicide are some of the big ones.

I have learned many things over the span of years that my family has dealt with this issue. I will try to elaborate on some of them briefly. Someday, I may write a book--because that is the length of article I would have to write to effectively cover this span of years and the lessons I have learned—stay tuned :).

At this point in time, I have come to realize that mental illness is simply one of many trials that we may be subjected to in this life. It has a purpose similar to other trials of life. In my mind, the purpose of these trials is to teach us to love unconditionally, as Christ does; to teach us that each life has immense unconditional value; and to teach us to come unto Christ to be healed from the emotional, physical, and spiritual injuries of this life. Christ is the great healer, the light, and the life. He will be the one ultimately, who will bring us up out of the grip of these diseases and their effects, and who will bring us peace. I have experienced this healing myself, and testify that it can come.

This is not a simple process or an easy road. It is one that has literally taken me 28 years to traverse. There is much difficulty in this journey. I would not in any way try to simplify it or make light of the suffering incurred by anyone who is subjected to these trials, but I would offer hope. At one time my husband and I were at the brink of divorce. At many times he was suicidal. For ten years he was inactive in the church. (We were both returned missionaries who married in the temple and have raised 7 children together.) A few weeks ago, my husband and I spent time together in two temples with extended family and he currently serves in a branch presidency. Our love is stronger than it has ever been. We are truly one. My one plea to anyone who is in the middle of this trial is: Don't give up! It can get better.

When I took my daughter in to the doctor this summer to try to find some type of medication to ease her symptoms, I told the doctor what I thought her problem was. He listed some symptoms of BP-II and the length of time most people suffer from the disease before obtaining a correct diagnosis. Most people with BP II have it for 15 years before it is diagnosed and go through 2 to 3 failed relationships. I thought at the time that this sounded about right. I diagnosed my husband. He has yet to find a doctor or counselor who has been helpful, and he has never been correctly medicated. He currently controls his condition by learned behavioral techniques, awareness of symptoms, self control of thoughts, and self monitoring of mood swings. As a spouse of a BP personality. I feel like I have gone through at least 3 personalities myself. These personalities correlated with stages I went through: the innocent optimistic stage, the surprise and shock stage, the why does this keep happening stage, the grim determination stage, the somebody help me, I'm not going to survive this stage, and the recognition and recovery stage. Hopefully these stages will take you less time to go through than they have for us. For my daughter, early recognition and treatment have made a huge difference.

Kirby) I often think the biggest problem with finding competent doctors to help is the arrogance of the doctors themselves. If the patient is fairly intelligent, especially a logical thinker, he/she can out-think the so-called specialists at every turn, using the same words/phrases the doctors use to rationalize or cover up the root problems, eg. stating that he/she was overly tired, had been working too long supporting everyone else, and letting it come to a head. Another specific instance I recall is when a psychologist told me he “now understands why you have difficulties in interviews”, but he never elaborated, not in that session, or any subsequent session. If you have the answer (at least in your own mind), shouldn’t it be shared with the afflicted? At least, that’s my (logical) thinking.

This is Shauna's blog spot: http://www.u2qm.blogspot.com