Yes, but. . .answers

Have you ever been given a “Yes, but. . .” answer.

A “Go ahead, but be warned that the way ahead is not easy.” answer?

One that is akin to God commanding Adam and Eve not to partake of the forbidden fruit, when the instruction was basically:  Don’t partake of this fruit, but it’s your choice, but be aware that if you do partake of it you will die, but it’s your choice.

I believe that this kind of prompt is given when we can gain much by making the choice to go ahead with the hard thing, but that there is also a risk that we should be aware of before we proceed, and if we proceed anyway, it is our choice, but God has warned us that the way before us will be difficult and hazardous.

I can think of two instances that I was given a warning like this:

The first was when I married Kirby.  I got a strong “yes, but. . .” answer.  I had a strong prompting that Kirby was the one I was meant to marry, but I also got a strong “There is something wrong with him.” warning at the same time. I got this “Proceed with caution.” warning several times during our courtship.  It first occurred when Kirby and I were just getting to know each other.  We went for a walk to the park one evening and Kirby was talking about himself.  I had a strong impression come to my mind which clearly stated: “Something is wrong with him.” It came as one clear thought.

The next warning came the day he asked me to marry him. I hesitated answering him on that day because I wasn’t sure about him, and then on the way home as we were talking Kirby expressed some doubts about his own worthiness that really concerned me, but after praying about my decision over several days, I felt prompted to proceed and gave him a yes answer and I felt good about it. 

That night I talked to his mom on the phone.  It was so weird.  We were announcing our engagement to our parents over the phone, and Iola asked me the question: “Couldn’t you find someone better?” She has since denied that was what she said or intended to say, but it was shocking enough to me at the time that I clearly remember it happening. This made me feel pretty defensive and protective of Kirby, however—so I guess that warning backfired big time.  I think I felt more committed to my decision to proceed after that. What was happening here that would make a mother say such a thing? I couldn’t imagine why a mom would do that,

Finally, the last warning was at the alter in the temple, I had a big hesitation moment during the ceremony when the enormity of the commitment I was making hit me really hard, and I was made really aware of the fact that I didn’t really know Kirby very well.  I thought about backing out even then, and I didn’t think that that was a normal thought to be having over the altar.  The decision that I ultimately and repeatedly made to continue my course despite these repeated strong warnings that Kirby had some unknown problems that would be challenging for him, and that would be difficult for me, speaks volumes to the strength of the bond that I felt toward him to counterbalance the warnings. This bond was established over a very short period of time and was based on the other side of the revelations I was receiving that Kirby was first, someone with whom I had had a relationship before we came to this life; second that I had chosen to walk this path with him before my life began; and third, that he was the person who made me feel whole and complete.

I have since come to understand that the choice of who I would marry was mine to make here on earth, as it was in the pre earth life, and that I was given information that made me aware, both here and there, that this choice was not going to make my life easier, and that it was completely my choice whether I was to go through with it or not.  I was given a prompting to proceed, yes, you found the right guy—which contained a strong warning attached. I did not understand fully the full weight of my decision or my warning until much later in my life.  I have since had that decision reaffirmed.  This has occurred in recent years, and the growth, strength, and knowledge that I have ultimately accumulated because of the difficulties Kirby and I have overcome together has become extremely valuable to me at this point in my life. I feel that Kirby and I have grown, both individually and as a couple through the things which we have suffered due to Kirby’s bi-polar disorder, and that the overcoming of this challenge which we have experienced has provided, and will continue to offer critical learning experiences for us both spiritually and physically.

The second time that I had a blessing which was accompanied by a warning which occurred at the same time happened when I got a priesthood blessing before Bethany was born.  I was given a blessing that reassured me that all would be well with the baby, while at the same time receiving a strong sense that something would go wrong but would ultimately be okay.  This also turned out to be true.  Bethany was a strong and healthy baby—but we almost killed her through some dumb medical decisions—which were made based on an inadequate understanding of what was happening during that delivery—luckily Bethany made it--after a life flight to Spokane and spending 9 days in the NICU, and ultimately everything turned out okay and she suffered no permanent harm. Again I learned some valuable lessons through that experience. I have always believed that Bethany also has been a stronger person because she had to fight so hard to stay here on earth in the first place. I really believe that this is true.

The point of my story—“Yes, but. . .” answers happen.

That’s my musing for today.

Obedience and Agency

As mortals we have our agency.  This is a God given right to choose our own path.  While we are on earth, we have full freedom to choose good or evil--God does not control our choices.  Opposition of good and evil exists in this life, the one in contrast to the other.  While we are mortal, we are being tested to determine whether we will choose good or evil. With each choice we are able to observe the consequences of our choice and we can also witness the actions of others around us, even as viewed throughout history, and we can see the consequences of the actions of a lot of different people. We are meant to learn from this experience and to become wise enough to learn to choose the good over the evil by our own will.

God has also given us commandments to help us understand what we should do while we are here.  He has sent prophets and has had them record His revelations to them. He has explained the laws that should govern us here. He has promised that blessings will follow obedience to His laws, while sorrow, and captivity to evil and to man's physical carnal nature will result if we indulge in sin.

We have complete freedom over our actions and reactions while we are in this life, but we do not have control over other's choices.  We do not have control over the governing principles of this life, such as physical laws, or natural consequences, nor are we at liberty to redefine good and evil. or to alter God's purpose for our being here.

When we die, we are finished with this mortal life, but our eternal life continues.  We will be assigned to positions of responsibility and allotted an increase in intelligence, power, and influence after death based on how well we have demonstrated a wise use of our agency here, or in other words if we have learned to be submissive to God's laws and have freely chosen to be governed by them, we are given unlimited resources after this life and eternal unlimited potential to continue to learn and grow and exercise agency.  If we have failed to comply with heavenly law here on earth, we are given a limited range of agency in our next life, and a limited potential to learn and grow.  Our agency will be measured out in the next life according to the ability we have demonstrated here to wisely manage our power of choice.

Prayers

I am at a place in my life where I can look back over many of my important life events and see them in the context of a greater whole.

I have been struck recently with the number prayers that I have had answered throughout my life, sometimes in rather remarkable and immediate ways, other times in ways that took rather significant amounts of time to realize.

Going back in my memory, the first that I remember an answer to prayer occurring was around the time that my family moved to Santaquin, UT--so about 1971. I would have been about 12 years old.

I remember feeling deeply lonely one night due to the move, because I didn't have any friends yet and everything seemed so different to me.  I remember praying and expressing my feelings of sadness and loneliness in my prayer. I said to Heavenly Father,  "I really need a friend right now. Would you be my friend?"  The feeling I got then was like being enveloped in light and warmth.  It was so overwhelming and powerful that it scared me a little.  I thought an angel might be about to appear and I was a bit nervous about that. I got up and went into the bathroom.  I had tears running down my face and I very much needed a tissue, but I knew from that time on that Heavenly Father was, and wanted to be my friend.

The next time I had a prayer answered was when my Dad was Bishop.  It would have been a year or two later perhaps.  I was working on personal progress for Young Womens, which was then called MIA (Mutual Improvement Association).  I had started reading the Book of Mormon, and was trying to pray for a witness of the truthfulness of the book.  I was trying to get a spiritual confirmation, but nothing was happening.  I had a personal progress interview with my Dad and we were discussing my testimony.  I guess I explained the troubles I was having, because he said this to me about gaining a testimony: "Sometimes we are standing in the rain and we're asking Heavenly Father if it's raining." That's when my witness came. The spirit testified to my spirit in that moment that I knew, that I already knew the gospel was true and that the Book of Mormon was true--I didn't really need to seek another witness--but I could, in confidence, rely on that which I already believed to be true--because it was.




I am reading a book called "journey to the Veil" by John Pontius. I really am learning a lot from him. I liked the concept I read this morning: "This principle of asking with complete faith for those things that we have already been promised is of such transcendent and magnificent power in parting the veil that Moroni actually says it twice. (Ether 12:19-21) We take the teachings we receive and live them in our lives. . . Then we return in mighty prayer and having been obedient and faithful in all things, we courageously petition the Lord with perfect faith because He, the God of salvation promised us that we could. . . we petition the Lord in mighty, mighty, prayer--and we receive the promises." I recognize this pattern in my life. There have been times that I have asked for a specific blessing based on my faithfulness, and I have always received (generally rather quickly) the blessings I petitioned for. A few times I had to wait for them, but often I had already passed through the trial and was ready to receive the blessing--I just had to ask. Some examples: When I asked for an answer to whether or not I should go on a mission--I used a patriarchal blessing promise to get that answer, and it was immediate. When I wanted to meet my future husband, I used my mission efforts, and my Patriarchal Blessing promise to pull that blessing down, and it happened almost immediately. When I desired to move from Vegas for the protection of my faith and the faith of my children, I prayed for that blessing, and it happened very quickly afterwards. When I prayed that Kirby would return to activity in the church and to re-enter the temple, I was told to be patient--and it took 10 years--but it was fulfilled exactly as I was told it would occur--exactly. When I was worried about Bethany being in the eye of the hurricane on her mission, I was told to pray for angels, and I am convinced that angels were there. If you look in your own life, you will start to see how your prayers are answered. If you have been promised blessings, you have the right to call them down from heaven if you have shown faithfulness in following the commandments and feel that you are ready to receive those blessings. This is a true principle.

Healing Through Faith in Jesus Christ

I know that when Christ heals me, He heals me completely.

I know that when Christ cleanses me.  He cleanses me completely.
The cleansing and healing of Jesus Christ are performed according to our faith, 

so it may occur in layers as our faith develops sufficiently to allow it to happen.