This is an article that I like

http://mormonscholarstestify.org/1718/valerie-hudson-cassler

Of Gardens and Grandmas

I have a perennial flower garden.  I call it my Grandma garden.  I love the idea of passing on the love of country flowers to another generation. It is a love that includes memorial days at my grandmother's house when we would go about the yard gathering iris and spirea, pussy willow, snowball, and forsythia to put on graves. It includes my memories of an elderly neighbor's rose garden, and my mother teaching me how to make flower ladies from hollyhocks. I remember walking down the road to my friend's house in the spring time and smelling the lilac scent waft toward me from their border hedge of lilac bushes. I wanted to have lilac in my bridal bouquet, but that was not a practical desire, for their season is short. I love so many flowers. Perennial flowers bloom for only a few weeks a year, so I have collected a variety of types so that my front garden blooms all spring and summer. It is a random and haphazard collection of plants that I have started from bulbs and roots and nursery plants. Some plants thrive, and some plants fade away, so always the garden is changing. Last year I cleaned out some of the aggressive plants that had taken over too much space and moved them to some spots along the mow strip, where nothing else seems to survive, Then I started some new plants that I have been wanting to add to the graden. I moved everything around and dug up the root system of a reed that grows near us at the pond. It had invaded my garden and a huge web of roots up to a centimeter in diameter had to be dug out from under the other plants. They were about 6 to 8 inches below the surface--a seriously hardy strain of weed. I like to say that Cinton is the weed capital of the world, because we have some seriously hardy strains here. I am currently doing some clean up work near the edge of the garden, where I didn't quite finish my work last summer, and there is grass and established weeds that need to be dug out from among the border flowers. The other day, as I was digging, a couple of families walked by. They stopped to look at the daffodils and hyacinth with their little children, pointing out the "pretty flowers." One woman commented that "That looks like a lot of work." "It is." was my reply. Not as many people seem to grow these types of gardens today. Annuals are easier, and also beautiful. But these old flowers remind me of my childhood and my grandparents, and that makes me feel happy.

Deciding to be a Writer

So something unexpected happened a few weeks back, which changed the course of my life dramatically.

It all started with visiting teaching, as strange as that may sound.  January, being the month for setting goals and making new starts, it got me making appointments to visit my visiting teaching sisters early in the month.  My companion assignment, which I had received in December, hadn’t worked out, because my partner had gone on an extended vacation with her retired husband.  So I decided to take Meagan and go out.  After calling each person on my new list, I ended up setting a visit for only one sister, Sister Taylor.  Sister Taylor is an amazing person who I have long wanted to become better friends with.  We ended up talking for an hour and a half about her new vision of life and some workshops that she was presenting.  We actually signed Meagan up for one of her workshops, and she talked to Meagan about illustrating for her, as she wanted to write a children’s book.  Sister Taylor also recommended a book to me, “Visions of Glory.”  She said that this book had changed her life.  I decided to read it.

Meagan was excited to have a potential project to work on.  She enjoyed the workshop, which occurred the following Saturday, and she even went to a movie that evening with a group of ladies from the class.  She had a great time.  The next day at church, Sister Taylor wondered if Meagan could come over to her house for a bit to talk about her book.  So Meagan went home with her after choir practice.  When she came home, Meagan said that all Sister Taylor had for her to work on so far was  pretty backgrounds and children.  She started to practice making backgrounds and drawing children for the next few days, but she couldn’t really go beyond that, because the story wasn’t written yet.

The thought went through my mind: “I could write a book for Meagan to illustrate.  Why don’t I just do it?”  Small thought, but from it a seed started to grow in my mind.  I did read the book, “Visions of Glory.” It changed my perspective on time and my potential.  I began to ask myself, what if I’m not really preparing for a future that looks like today?  What if I’m preparing for a time when the thing of most value to me will be the ability I have to access my faith?  What if the time to prepare is quite limited--perhaps a decade or two--before this major change happens?  How would I then prepare my family and myself to survive, thrive, and to be together, in the event that everything we have come to expect as a future collapses,  and we are given the opportunity to participate in the creation of a Zion society? What if we literally are preparing for Jesus to reign as Lord on the Earth? What if I have a part to play in that process?  One, I want Kirby to be here before anything drastic happens.  How do I get Kirby home?  Two, I really want to be worthy to be a valuable asset in the work the Lord is doing to prepare people for Him to reign.

These thoughts and questions were playing in my mind for days, and as I pondered I started to key in on some comments and scriptures.  “ I will give up all my sins to know Him.”   King Lamoni.  “Why not us?”  Russ Wilson, Seattle Seahawks, and “Seek wise and good council, Sherri, in all things and your soul shall grow,  and shall illuminate to the people of the world who are in darkness, and they shall glory in it, and shall come unto you for many blessings and privileges, which you shall be blessed to give them if you keep the commandments and do the will of the Lord as has been given to you.” My patriarchal blessing.

What if the comment in my blessing refers to something more than my mission to Japan?  What if this promise has more to it than that?  What if it has something to do with preparing the way for more people to receive the gospel today?  How could I best be a light?  Could I attain my potential to be a light by persisting on the path I am currently on, or do I need to make a course correction?

I decided that though I am in a position to influence lives as a teacher, I am limited in my ability to advance gospel principles in the public school system.  I feel like I have been teaching to provide a transition income for Kirby to eventually come home, but I am coming to believe that my earnings as a teacher are not adequate to facilitate this actually happening.  Since there is little room for upward mobility in teaching, I felt like I am just spinning my wheels.  I'm making a contribution, but it isn't adequate to actually reach my goals.  Writing, on the other hand, has no guarantees, but it also has no set limits.  It would take away stability, but it would give me freedom.  When I mentioned my ideas to Kirby, he commented that I'd been talking about doing this for a long time.  He reminded me that he has been telling me I should do it for a long time.  He asked me why I didn't just commit to doing it.  He thought I should try writing during the summer and then take one more year teaching and then make the change, but I felt like I needed to make a clear decision and do it or leave it alone, that another calendar year wouldn't help me.  Nor did I want the pressure over the summer of trying to develop a new career while preparing for another school year and while trying to accomplish all of the other household projects and plans that needed to take place before school started again.

A few years ago, I had pondered this question and decided that no, it wasn’t feasible for me to stop working at that time.  I figured that that decision would stand for many years, but this time, I felt differently.  I felt that circumstances had changed, that I had changed, and that there was a different kind of urgency and timeliness in this choice today that there hadn't been in the past. I also felt like Meagan and Michelle would be benefitted by my leading out in pursuing this career path, and that I could help give direction and companionship to Meagan at this time in her life.  As I sat down and talked to Meagan about it, I asked her to tell me about some of the ideas she has been working on.  I found that she had an entire book already plotted out in her mind.  I had her start to write it out in an outline form.  I was amazed at how much she had already conceptualized.  I felt like I needed to help her complete this work, and that this would be a good project for us to start on.  I felt that this would give her the direction in her life that she has been looking for.

I decided to pursue this issue as a matter of prayer.  I made a decision to decide, and I started with a yes answer.  Yes, I should do this, and I asked for a confirmation from the spirit.  I started praying with this decision in mind, and I got a affirming, positive response from the spirit.  I went to the temple.  I talked to my family.  Everything was positive and affirming.  I felt that I had my answer.  I asked my mom if she would ask Dad to give me a blessing the next Sunday.  I felt that that would be “seeking wise and good council,” as my blessing directs me to do.

Meagan and Becci and I drove to Santaquin after church.  My parents and I talked for a long time about my motivators and my decision.  I told them about Meagan’s already outlined story and the progress she has made with her illustrating .  I told them about my ponderings, and my motives.  I answered their questions about my current career and my goals.

At the conclusion of our discussion, my father wanted to know what I desired to receive in the blessing.  I said that I sort of already knew what my answer was, but I wanted to know that I had the talent and the ability required to proceed in this direction, and that I wanted assurance that it would be appropriate to take this step at this time.  What I got was an amazing blessing.  I was told that this was my choice through my agency.  I was told that I was given a talent in the pre-mortal world, that it was mine; that through my seeking that I had recognized this talent; that I should never doubt that I have it, and that if I was to ever feel discouraged, that I should know that that spirit of discouragement was not of God, and that I should rebuke it through the priesthood.  I was told that this path would have an influence on a certain circle of people, but that the biggest influence would be on those who are closest to me.  I was informed that Father in Heaven isn’t concerned with money or notoriety.  I was told that I may become known in some circles and that I would be paid a fair wage for my labor.  Mainly, I remember the assurance that was given to me that I was intended, since before my birth, to be a light in this world, and that if such was my desire, that I should be one, especially to those who are closest to me.  So I came home Sunday night, and I went in to my principal Monday morning, and I resigned my teaching position for next year. 

I told my mom during our discussion, "I know that this sounds kind of illogical," but she responded that it didn’t’ sound illogical at all, and that she was excited for me to do something that I had always wanted to do, and to be home with my family more.  Everyone seems to be excited for me.  I still feel a strong spirit of affirmation in my heart whenever I ponder this path, though I am currently unsure of what I will be writing or how this will progress, I feel like, when it is time for me to proceed further, I will be given further promptings.

I guess I’m developing my faith.  I woke up at 4 a.m. and started writing this down.  I need to go to school now.

So I am off,

Sherri 

Lift Up Your Voice and Sing

“A song is a wonderful kind of thing, so lift up your voice and sing. Just start a glad song, let it float, let it ring, just lift up your voice and sing. We shall make music to brighten the day, music will help us to lighten the way. Lift up your voice, lift up your voice, lift up your voice and sing.” (a Primary song from my youth)

I was asked to talk about how hymns have lifted and inspired me in my life.

I have always loved the music of the church. I remember as a little girl, listening to prelude music in Sunday School, and singing Primary songs like, I Wonder When He Comes Again, I Often Go Walking, and Teach Me to Walk in the Light. These and other songs of my childhood taught me principles of the gospel through lyrics and melody. These are messages that I still hold dear today. These songs always bring the Holy Spirit near, and help me feel the love of my Father in Heaven.

Some specific hymns have brought a spiritual witness to my soul at times of my life, in such a powerful way as to never be forgotten.

The first, and probably most memorable experience I had with a hymn, was on my mission. I was in the MTC. While there, I had frequent opportunities to meet with other missionaries for instruction and inspiration. At one such meeting, the closing hymn happened to be, Come Unto Jesus. I was not too familiar with this song at the time. I was noticing that the lyrics had a missionary message, which I had not noticed before. The spirit was very strong in the room. When we got to verse 3 we sang these words: “Oh, know you not that angels are near you?” At that moment, the Holy Ghost bore witness to my heart that angels were there. I knew that angels were all around us in that room. I knew that the angels were watching over us, and I felt that they would go with us as we left that place to serve the Lord. There were times while I was out on my mission, when I was aware of the presence of angels.  Though I did not see them, I could feel myself under their watchful care. It was especially noticeable when I had a need to be out later than usual, or while walking on a street that was very worldly.  I could, at such times, sense a protective insolative bubble around me, or the presence of a tall protector, unseen, but felt, walking beside me. Because of the witness of the spirit while singing, I knew that angels were near me on my mission.

Another memorable experience I had with a hymn also happened at the MTC. While at the MTC, we were privileged on several occasions to meet in a large congregation that included all of the missionaries who were then at the MTC as we met in evening devotionals. Often general authorities would come to speak to us. I will never forget the experience of singing Ye Elders of Israel at such a meeting. When we sang the chorus, “Oh Babylon, Oh Babylon, we bid thee farewell, We’re going to the mountains of Ephraim to dwell.” The sound of that triumphant anthem seemed to reach to the heavens, and my heart rejoiced to be part of such a moment.

When I got to Japan, I found that I missed having an English version of the hymn book, so I asked my mother to send me one. She sent me a small leather bound hymnal, and I studied it like scripture. I was especially moved by the lyrics to Hymn 97 at that time. “Lead, Kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom; Lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead thou me on. Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene—one step enough for me.” This song expressed the feelings of my heart at that time.  It helped me learn to walk by faith.

After my mission, I got married and started my family. After I had been married for a few years, it became apparent that my husband had some emotional health issues. For a long time, we did not understand what these issues were, and it was a very difficult time for my marriage and for our family. Some years later I came to understand that my husband suffers from bi-polar disorder. This disorder has impacted our lives repeatedly over the years. It sometimes made it difficult for Kirby to maintain his career path, and this caused additional emotional and financial stresses on him and our family. When the war started in Iraq, Kirby was called up with the Utah National Guard, to serve overseas. We were living in Las Vegas at the time. Our seven children were still fairly young, and I was teaching school to help out with the finances. Some days were really difficult. I would find myself going to the piano to play hymns during these times. “Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace, When other sources cease to make me whole, When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul?”

A decade has passed since those difficult years, and through the workings Christ’s loving atonement in my life, much has changed. In April of 2013 I was listening to general conference, when I heard the tabernacle choir sing the hymn, “Come, Come, Ye Saints.” It was such a beautiful rendering of that amazing song, and at the end, as they sang “All is well, all is well” three times in succession, the spirit spoke peace to my soul, testifying to me that despite all the worries and cares of this life, God’s plan will triumph.  I was assured--"All is well, All is well."

Why Not Us?

The Super Bowl was interesting, in that, the team that was expected to win got totally blown out of the water by this young team from Seattle. I loved the comment from the quarterback of the Seahawks (winning team). I find it inspiring:

The 5-foot-11 Wilson, who has had doubters at every stage of his career, said. . ."I remember my dad asking me one time, and it's something that has always stuck with me: 'Why not you, Russ?' You know, why not me? Why not me in the Super Bowl? So in speaking to our football team earlier in the year, I said, 'Why not us? Why can't we be there?'

I'm thinking we might all be better off if we thought more like this man.

I read a book last week called "Visions of Glory." It was pretty cool. I loved some of the concepts brought forward in the book about the last days and the formation of Zion before the millennial reign.  I thought it was fascinating. Of course, it's not official church doctrine or anything, but it is really an interesting read.

I have started reading the book "Believing Christ." This is also a very interesting book. It emphasizes the role of grace in the gospel.  It makes clear the point that no one is going to become perfect on their own, that we all fall way short, but that through aligning ourselves with Christ, that we become partners with him, and He. as our partner, can cover what we lack. We just have to merge with him, so to speak. He talks about it being like a takeover of a small in debt business by a large profitable business, the small business becomes solvent through the merger of the two because the large business' assets can more that cover whatever debt the small business has.  Everyone is invited to make this merger, or to come unto Christ. But it is always left to us to choose. There are some conditions we have to accept and abide by, but if we are willing to accept and abide by these conditions, then the merger can happen.  He talks about how since we all fall short, it is not really relevant how far short we fall. It is more relevant how much we want it, and where our hearts and desires are. If we are doing our best to believe and follow Christ, then we can partake of his grace, which is sufficient for all. It's a good book. It's the book that the bicycle analogy comes from that is often told at church, where the little girl saves her pennies, but is hopelessly short of buying the bike she wants, so her father takes all that she has, plus a hug and a kiss, and makes up the difference. He does not buy the bike due to the girl's worthiness or capacity to buy the bike on her own, but rather it is due to her father's love for her. In the same way atonement and salvation are not given to us for our ability to earn it, or for our worthiness, but it is offered based on our Father's love for us. We merely have to give our all, and a hug and a kiss (our love, devotion, and faith) and the bike (salvation) is ours. It seems simple enough. Too bad we always make it seem more complicated.

The scripture about King Lamoni's father has been on my mind this week as well: "I will give up all my sins to know him." That's what we all need to be doing. King Lamoni's father was a pretty wicked guy, but he changed completely in a very short period of time. He gave up all desire to do evil. He had a complete change of heart. If he can do it, then, "Why not us?" I dare say there is no reason why not. Let's do it today! Let's give up all our sins to know him, or at least, let's give him all we have, and a hug and a kiss, and trust that he is always going to come through for us.

Hobbits and Wizards

Sometimes the world we live in boggles my mind.  How can a society go from a place that was represented by Leave it to Beaver, Mayberry RFD, and My Three Sons, to a society of Friends, Sex in the City and the Simpsons?  How can we go from being a refuge for the teaming masses yearning to breathe free, to a crippled over bloated economy with a corrupted government?  Why do we continue to corrupt ourselves by abandoning values and principles that are the heart of our strength?

I was thinking this morning about The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  I was thinking about the role of the Hobbits.  They were the people least susceptible to the pull of evil.  They were the simple folk, the salt of the earth.  Their hearts were not easily corrupted by power, greed, or fear, as were the other nations.  I was thinking about the allegory, and what the different nations represent. 

Elves, are the educated elite.  They have much power based on intelligence.  They heal, design, build, and even fight with skill.  They are greatly admired.  Their weakness is in their conceit and aloofness.  They are drawn to power and consider themselves above other men.  Their strength is in their intellect, but they are vain and do not value the simple or the common. 

Then there are the dwarves.  They are men of industry, capitalists, those who pull from the earth its treasures.  They mine, and build, and create, but their weakness is greed.  They pull too much, they care too little about the earth that they pull from, and they release dark evils from the depths beneath or attract dragons to their hordes, because all they care about is the wealth they can pull from the earth. 

The men in the story are weak.  Their minds are full of fear and doubt.  They are pulled in all directions and are leaderless and vacillating.  They have potential, but they do not tap into it.

Only the hobbit is able to resist the great evils that pull at the other characters.  What is the source of the hobbit’s strength?  The hobbit is rooted to the earth.  He actually lives underground.  He is nourished by his homegrown food, his family, and his traditions.  He seems stodgy and naïve at the same time; yet he is not drawn to evil, because he loves simple things.  He longs for his home, his hearth, and his lands.  Always his quest is to go home or to defend the home, never is it to gain wealth, power, or prestige.  His strength is in his simplicity.

The wizards are like prophets.  They have great insight to foresee and lead, either toward good, or toward evil.  They have great knowledge and understanding and power.  I like the way Gandolf uses light as a weapon that sweeps away darkness and dark forces before it.  I especially like the scene where he plants his staff and commands the beast, “You shall not pass.”  I feel like we are all in a similar position today.  We are running away from evil, trying to stay ahead of it, but it is getting bigger and more powerful.  Finally, I think we will have to turn and face it, and draw that line and command it to stop.  All that we have to fight with is light and truth, with the love of our homes and families to give us purpose.  Power will not hold us up, wealth will not nourish us, fear and weakness will not sustain us.  We will have to make a stand on goodness, and push evil back into the abyss from whence it came.

Then shall the weak things of the earth break down the mighty and strong ones.