Those Winter Sundays

Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking,
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house.

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.

What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices?

Robert Hayden

This was a poem that Bethany had in an English packet.  I just really liked it.  I was struck with the fact that people show love differently, some by words, some by actions.  Sometimes it is hard to recognize love when it is offered.

Lean Into It

by Little Big Town


These days are filled with trouble
And the nights feel like they're all getting longer
These days are dark and grey
Like that storm rolling in across the water.

There's a strong wind blowing
I push on it pushes back
It's a hard time
But I know I'll get through it
Just gotta lean into it

This ain' where I thought I'd be
If I could I'd stop it now and I'd rewind it
But this ain' where I'm gonna fall
If there's a way to fight
I know I'm gonna find it

There's a strong wind blowing
I push on it pushes back
It's a hard time
But I know I'll get through it
Just gotta lean into it
Just gotta lean into it.

Of Joy and Pain

20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

Take the life of the happiest. It is a tangled yarn. It is made up of joys and sorrows, and the joys are all the sweeter because of the sorrows.-- Reed Smoot

 . . .if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us.-- Deiter F. Uchtdorf

I testify to you of the lasting happiness and ultimate joy of those who exercise faith in God and keep his commandments. I urge each of you to seek the joy that comes from keeping the commandments of God and exerting a righteous influence for the benefit of those we love.-- Dallin H. Oaks

Michelle's Faith Sustains Me

Sherri, Caryn, Michael, Michelle, and Kirby, living in "Butch's House." 

As a young mother I was, on occasion, stunned by the faith of my daughter, Michelle. Viewing the world from an adult perspective, it is sometimes remarkable to realize how pure a young child’s faith really is.

I will relate three incidents that remain indelibly fixed in my mind and which display Michelle’s faith. The first occurred when we were living in Payson, UT. It must have been 1989, so Michelle would have been almost 4 years old. We were living in “Butch’s house.” The kids had helium balloons and I remember we were standing on the carport when Michelle’s balloon slipped away from her and started floating upwards into the blue summer sky. Tears filled her beautiful blue eyes and her lip trembled. We stood there watching her bright balloon rise up into the air when she asked me, “Mom, where is my balloon going?” I replied, trying to soothe her, “It’s going up to Jesus.” Her face suddenly beamed with happiness, “Is He going to bring it back to me?” I was suddenly taken aback by the faith of this child, who at that moment was sure that Jesus would soon be dropping by to return her balloon to her. I could almost imagine it happening myself. I felt that He wouldn’t consider the task beneath him at all, and it made me smile.

Caryn, Bethany, Michael, Meagan, Kyle, Rebecca, and Michelle

The next incidence occurred during a Family Home Evening lesson. We were living in Orem then. It would have been about 1996, so Michelle was probably 11 years old. I was teaching a lesson. I believe we had watched a short clip depicting Jesus walking on the water and we were discussing how the disciples were frightened as they saw him approach, walking on the water. I asked, “Wouldn’t you be scared if you saw Jesus walking toward you on the water?” Michelle’s answer, “Of course not! Why would you be afraid of Jesus?” Again, my rational viewpoint dissolved, as I viewed the scene from the eyes of a child,

Kyle, Caryn, Bethany, Michael, Sherri, and Michelle

Lastly, there was a night, years ago, when we were living in Las Vegas. I’m not sure of the year. It was early 2000s. Michelle would have been 15 or so. I don’t remember the exact cause of the incident, but it was during some bad years while we were dealing with some serious bi-polar symptoms, and some financial hardships. Something had happened. There had been a blow up. Kirby had left the house in a rage, determined not to return. There had been some sort of a scene, and Kirby had grabbed some of his things and left in the car. I was in my bedroom, in a sort of desperate despair. I was very frightened, disheartened, and sad. I knew Kirby was currently at risk for suicide, and that I had no way of knowing where he had gone or when, or if, he would return to us safely. The kids had gone to bed, but I could not sleep. I could just sit and pray, and hope for his safe return. Quietly Michelle came into the room. She sat by me on the bed and put her hand on my shoulder. “Mom,” she said, “I’ve been praying, and I just wanted you to know, Dad’s going to be alright.” At that moment, I was so grateful for the faith of a child, and the answer she had received to her prayer. She left the room, and with peace restored, I slept. A few hours later, Kirby returned to the house. He was not physically harmed. We were able to somehow survive the storm of those years, and come through, more or less intact. We have since been able to work through those issues and come through the storms to a brighter day.

"The refiner’s fire is real, and qualities of character and righteousness that are forged in the furnace of affliction perfect and purify us and prepare us to meet God."--Quenton L. Cook, 2011, The Songs They Could Not Sing.

Our family today:

Front Row, Michael, Shantel, Meagan, Sherri, Becci

Back Row, Bethany, Michelle, Kyle, Kirby, Sammy, Caryn

Of Heroes and Princesses

It seems that in every culture, including our own, we raise our young on tales of heroes and princesses: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Superman, and the like, are stories that are ingrained into our cultural lore.  The themes of heroes and princesses drive the entertainment industry today, arguably, one of the most powerful influences of our time.  Indeed, the stories we tell of ourselves, and the heroes and heroines that we aspire to emulate, become part of our perceptual identity and become ingrained into the roles we attempt to play in our lives.

Have you ever wondered where these themes came from and why they resonate so powerfully with each of us?  What little girl doesn't want to be a princess in disguise?  What young boy doesn't yearn to secretly be an all powerful hero and to defeat an evil villain?  Have you ever wondered why we have these recurring themes among mankind's storytelling, and do you wonder if these tales build us up with seemingly unattainable aspirations?

Holding these stories up to my own life experiences, I believe that we possess innately, a belief of greatness within us.  What young child does not esteem themselves to be of great worth?  We come into this world and are treated as such as infants and young children.  Mothers and fathers, grandparents and siblings, put us at the center of their worlds.  We learn to expect to inspire love and devotion, and to expect to win respect and admiration from our world, because we are literally, at the center of it.  Our cultural tales reinforce and reflect these views.  We build our lives, and our relationships, around the attainment of these positions.   To my husband, I must be the long sought for princess; to me, my husband must fill the role of hero, and protect and  defend me and my children from harm or evil.

Are these views realistic? For, I believe, they are real.  Emotionally, I believe, that these roles demand to be filled, and that they spin off many interesting results as we see examples of both successes and failures in peoples' attempts to achieve such idealism.

Theologically, the parallels between gospel concepts and cultural tales are striking. If we believe, as taught by scripture, that God, our Father, is the all powerful king and creator of all that is; then it is not so far fetched to believe that we are each princesses and heroes.  We would, in fact, expect to gain our happily ever after ending through demonstration of goodness and worthiness, and in doing so, will in fact expect to defeat overwhelming forces of evil by weilding previously unseen and unknown powers.  Is this not the story embedded in the theology that we espouse?

Here's to amazing endings. . .

The Band Perry--All Your Life

Would you walk to the edge of the ocean
Just to fill my jar with sand
Just in case I get the notion
To let it run through my hand
Let it run through my hand



Well, I don't want the whole world
The sun and moon and all their light
I just want to be the only girl, You love all your life
You love all your life



Would you catch a couple thousand fireflies, yeah
put them in a lamp to light my world
All dressed up in tux and bow tie hand delivered to a lonely girl, to a lonely,
lonely girl


Well, I don't want the whole world
The sun and moon and all their light
I just want to be the only girl, You love all your life
You love all your life

Spiritual Witnesses

There are spiritual witnesses that we receive which cannot be explained succinctly in words alone. They are feelings, impressions, and confirmations. I have been receiving them with frequency recently, in various settings: at my leadership meeting, at the temple, while I have studied the scriptures in my home, and as I have visited sacred places. Over and over the message has been the same, and the confirmation is like being enveloped in peace and love. The message is, that God is mindful of me, personally; he knows me; he loves me; he walks with me; he enables me; he has helped me overcome many things; he will help me overcome all things.

I was looking for some scriptures to encapsulate what I am learning. These work pretty well. . .]

D&C 11:12 And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit.
13 Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy;
14 And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.
30 But verily, verily, I say unto you, that as many as receive me, to them will I give power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on my name. . . .
 D&C 6--13 If thou wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, thou shalt be saved in the kingdom of God, which is the greatest of all the gifts of God; for there is no gift greater than the gift of salvation.
14 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.
15 Behold, thou knowest that thou hast inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou hast been enlightened by the Spirit of truth.
20. . . . Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love.
23 Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?
24 And now, behold, you have received a witness; for if I have told you things which no man knoweth have you not received a witness?

34 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.
35 Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you.
36 Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.
37 Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen.

Wisdom

I was thinking this morning about wisdom. I was wondering what the differences are between knowledge and wisdom. In church on Sunday it was suggested that wisdom is learned through experience and knowledge through study. I found this distinction intriguing, but I wondered if I could find out more about it. I looked wisdom up on wikipedia and found that generally wisdom included good judgement and acting in accordance with what one knows to be true, while knowledge was more information gathering. I looked up wisdom on lds.org and found this article by Marion G Romney that was interesting. The numbered items here summarize the main points. I have included some quotes from the article that I like and the link to the article. It seems that prayer, inspiration, and reverence for God are the foundation principles of wisdom as described here.

1. Mankind’s troubles are in large measure due not so much to a lack of facts as to a want of wisdom. What we desperately need is to recognize and acquire that quality which converts knowledge into wisdom.

2. Until mankind comes to a knowledge of God, we will continue in our distraction, regardless of how much other knowledge we acquire.

3. The development of the capacity to convert knowledge into wisdom is one of the blessings that comes from receiving the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

4. Profound reverence for the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

5. In soundly judging—which is a function of wisdom—the inspiration of the Lord can and often does compensate for unknown facts—that is, for lack of knowledge. Inspiration from God is an expression of total wisdom.

Our fatal weakness is, as already indicated, the inability to put to beneficial use knowledge which relates to our own personal conduct and to our dealings one with another

As I think about mankind’s great learning, our progress in material things, our unsolved problems, and our declining morality, I come to the conclusion that our troubles are in large measure due not so much to a lack of facts as to a want of wisdom. What we desperately need is to recognize and acquire that quality which converts knowledge into wisdom.

In soundly judging—which is a function of wisdom—the inspiration of the Lord can and often does compensate for unknown facts—that is, for lack of knowledge. For example, if a stranger at the crossroads, not knowing which way to turn, can receive inspiration from God, his decision will be as wise as if he had known all the facts. Why? Because God “knoweth all things.” Inspiration from him is an expression of total wisdom.

Not only does such inspiration compensate for want of facts; it also induces men, by self-discipline, to conform in their personal conduct and in their dealings one with another to the highest standards that they know. In other words, it gives men the capacity which distinguishes wisdom from knowledge.

Converting Knowledge into Wisdom - Ensign July 1983 - ensign

http://lds.org/ensign/1983/07/converting-knowledge-into-wisdom?cid=email-shared&lang=eng

28 And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.

The great test of life is obedience to God.

The great task of life is to learn the will of the Lord and then do it.

The great commandment of life is, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength” (Mark 12:30).

Training

http://lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/sanctify-yourselves?lang=eng&query=sanctify+yourselves

http://lds.org/pages/mormon-messages-gallery?lang=eng&cid=facebook-shared#sanctify-yourselves

These two links are to the talk and video referred to in this entry.

Last Thursday, I went to a regional training for Young Woman's Leaders.  It was given by the General Board of the Young Women, led by Sister Elaine Dalton.  We also had a member of the 70 as a presiding priesthood leader.  It was broadcast from Bountiful to various chapels.  I attended with my presidency in Roy.  It was an amazing experience.

The part that I wanted to try to record, happened at the end of the meeting, when the presiding priesthood holder, Elder Summerhaze, spoke for just a few moments.  He introduced himself as a happy nobody who was holding borrowed keys.  He explained that when he was ordained as a 70 he was given apostolic keys.  That he, for a time, was assigned to assist the 12 apostles and was given the same keys.  So, he explained, it was with these "borrowed" apostolic keys that he wished to give us a blessing.  The blessing that he gave us was, "That everything would be alright."  We had just watched the video with Elder Holland where a boy is healed after being struck by lightning.  An 18 year old newly ordained Elder in this video gives a blessing to a 12 year old deacon on a football practice field after the boy was struck by lightning and went into cardiac arrest. So while two of his coaches were giving him CPR, this young elder held the boy's head and gave him a blessing, promising the boy that he would "be ok".  Immediately following this blessing the boy began breathing again, on his own.  As as an echo of the blessing we had just seen in the video, Elder Summerhaze also blessed us.  He said that as leaders in our callings that we were doing the Lord's work, and that because we were doing the best we could, everything in our lives would be alright.  He told us we were "good girls" He affirmed Sister Dalton's testimony that despite our feelings of inadequacy that the Lord would enable us; that He knew us; that he would  bless us and our families because we were trying to do his work. The quote I wrote down was:

"Everything will be alright.
He will be with you."

During this blessing I felt the spirit so strongly.  It felt as if hands were on my head and I was literally receiving a priesthood blessing.

Other quotes I jotted down include:

"Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among us."

"Serve the Lord, He will enable you."

"Create an atmosphere in your home where the spirit can dwell.  That atmosphere will be reflected in all that you do."

"This is a gospel of joy and happiness.  Fill your soul with joy."

"I knew they loved me." (YW's "take away" from 6 years of attending YWs)

"You cannot lead unless you are out in front."

"How can we build unshakable faith in Jesus Christ?"

Things to do everyday:
Pray--at least twice
Read scriptures--at least 5 minutes
Smile
Obey commandments

Do the things we are asking them to do

This was the musical number from the meeting, it was sung by a chorus of YW from Roy
.http://lds.org/media-library/video/strength-of-youth-media?lang=eng&query=guardians+virtue#2010-12-15-guardians-of-virtue

http://lds.org/media-library/video/general-conference-april-2011?lang=eng&query=guardians+virtue#2011-03-0002-guardians-of-virtue

Closing Song: How Firm a Foundation.  The verse that stood out to me was verse two.  It struck me that I had been involved in each of these conditions, and that I had been succored in each condition according to the demands of that time.  The spirit then bore witness to me that God was mindful of me, and as we sang verse 7 I knew that as long as I leaned on the Savior, He would never forsake me.  Again, I don't recall ever feeling a more powerful witness of the spirit during a meeting than I felt during this one.

1. How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

2. In ev’ry condition–in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea–
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

4. When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

5. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

6. E’en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov’reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still, like lambs shall they still,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.

7. The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

Insights gained from my glimpse of the past

Woman Praying

Woman and Her Talents

partnership and milestones

play

Raising sons

and daughters

Passing on traditions and heritage

A witness sealed with blood

Sacrifice and dedication 

Light emitting from darkness-- Joseph recording revelations received at Liberty Jail

And everywhere the beauty of God's good earth and the evidence of his love.

I received some insight into what it means to be me, and into what the work is, that is being done through the establishment of The Church of Jesus Christ on the earth, as a result of my trip to Missouri and Illinois this past August.  One of the missionaries in Nauvoo mentioned, at one point, that each time the Saints completed a temple in an area, that mob violence increased against the church at that place, to the point that the members of the church had to move on.  Thinking back about the locations we had visited up to that point, I recalled how at each location where the Saints had established a settlement, that the cornerstones of a temple were immediately set, and that the city was established around it.  Not all of those temple sites became actual temples, but on the other hand, they each remain, to this day, dedicated land, with nothing on it but temple cornerstones.  Even in the case of the Nauvoo Temple, which was built and then defiled by mobs and fire and finished off by lightning, the land upon which it stood was considered sacred by another church, and nothing was built thereon until The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was able to return and re-build the Nauvoo temple on that spot, as it was intended to stand.  Even after the Saints had left the boundries of the United States and had settled in the Salt Lake Valley, they were threatened by an army at one point, and had to bury the temple foundation.  Satan, I concluded, was very determined to destroy this small body of Saints before they could establish themselves, and especially before they could establish a temple.

Why, I asked myself,  is the existence of temples so upsetting to Satan?  The answer is, of course, that they have the power to undo all, or at least much, of his devilry.  They are the key to Christ's plan to save mankind.  They hold within them the power to unlock the gates of the spirit prison and set free the souls of mankind through Christ's atonement and the ordinances that are attached to it--saving ordinances and sealing ordinances.

It is easy to underestimate the importance of who you are, and of your place in the world, when you grow up in a small town.  It is doubly so when your entire state is seen by many as a place that is backward and odd by the rest of the society in which you live, including, at times members of your own faith.  However, while visiting church history sights, I pondered upon the type of people that made up the early founders of this church.  They were sometimes educated, sometimes not.  They were often poor, but sometimes not.  They had one thing in common however, they were willing to submit in all things to the will of the Lord, as revealed to them by a prophet, and confirmed to them by the spirit of the Holy Ghost which they received.  They were determined, united by a common cause, and tested through trial.  The heritage which they earned and handed down to us, their posterity, was not based on great worldly prestige, or wealth, or honor.  Instead, they gave up what they had acquired of these things.  What they had of worldly wealth, they dedicated, to the building up of the Church and Kingdom of God on the earth.  They passed to us, their posterity, instead of riches and worldly aclaim, the mission of building up a kingdom of God on the earth that could be received by Christ upon His return.  This was their great desire--Their great obsession. They learned obedience and faith in God's mercy through the things that they suffered.  They did not welcome Christ to the earth, as they may have expected to do, but instead, they established for their posterity a place of sanctuary, a place where a people could become established; where a theology could become ingrained; where precious temples could be built; and where prophets could live to advanced years beloved by their people, and accomplish great things.  This church was not destined to be a small rock in a desert place apart from the world.  It was meant to fill the earth.  Through my growing understanding of these things, I  began to realize and to become much more keenly aware of the importance of my place in the world, and of the value of my inheritance as a member of Christ's church, and a descendant of these valiant pioneers who fulfilled their earthly missions with honor, and passed to us the blessings of the gospel, and the saving ordinances of the temple.

keys and callings

Looking forward in faith

We are as the armies of Helaman.  We have been taught in our youth.  And we will be the Lord's missionaries, to bring the world his truth.

Steve Perry's, Oh, Sherrie

Kirby says these lyrics are "apropo"
He may have a point there. . . . :D

You should've been gone knowing how I made you feel.
And I should've been gone after all your words of steel.
Oh I must've been a dreamer
and I must've been someone else,
And we should've been over.
Oh,Sherrie,
our love holds on, holds on.
Oh, Sherrie,
our love holds on, holds on.

But I want to let go you'll go on hurtin' me.
You'd be better off alone if I'm not who you thought I'd be.
But you know that there's a fever,
oh, that you'll never find nowhere else.
Can't you feel it burnin' - on and on?
Oh, Sherrie,
our love holds on, holds on. . . .
But I should've been gone
long ago, far away.
And you should've been gone-- now I know just why you stay.
Oh, Sherrie,
our love holds on, holds on. . ..
Oh, Sherrie,
our love holds on, holds on. . . .

Many small steps can take you a long distance over time. Just make sure you are pointed towards your goal.

Church History Trip

Today I am in Nauvoo, Illinois. It is Sunday afternoon 8/28/2011. I am with Natalie, Brett, LaDue, and Roanna Scovill. We have been traveling and seeing church history sites for the last 4 days. We went to Independence and Liberty Jail; Far West, Missouri and Adam Ondi Ahman as well.

Brett and Dad finding the temple cornerstones at Independence, MO

Brett, Natalie, Mom, Sherri, and Dad at the marker at Far West, MO

Liberty Jail

Hannibal, MO, birthplace of Mark Twain, American author

Country side near Adam Ondi Ahman

Mark Twain River Boat

Statue of Mark Twain with Hannibal, Mo in the background

The lighthouse at Hannibal

View at sunset from Mark Twain Riverboat

On Thursday, August 25, 2011, we started this trip. Brett and Natalie picked me up at 6:30 AM and we drove to Salt Lake International Airport. We met Mom and Dad there and shortly afterward boarded a plane to fly to Kansas City, MO. We arrived before noon, rented a car and began our sight seeing with Independence, MO. There we visited the church's visitor's center. We listened to a history of the area and saw some displays there. There were cornerstones there for a temple, which was never constructed. The saints could not become established in Independence, though they tried for a short time, because of the opposition of the Missouri population. Not far from Independence we visited Liberty Jail. This jail was reconstructed on the original site based on detailed descriptions taken by a missionary passing through the area years later, who was prompted to record the details of the place. Based on these details the jail was rebuilt on it's original foundation, and with some of the original stone taken from the remains of the building. It was a dismal oppressive place. Joseph and some others spent 4 months there during the winter while the Saints were being driven out of their homes and persecuted in the surrounding areas. It was a time of testing and trial for Joseph and for the saints. It was not a happy place, yet I was impressed with the dignity shown by the men imprisoned there, despite the horrible treatment and conditions, they remained dignified and noble. Joseph received Sections 121, 122, & 123 of the D&C during that time.

We returned to Kansas City that evening and stayed in a nice hotel. We had a late dinner and went to bed early. After breakfast the next morning, we headed for Far West and Adam Ondi Ahman. Far West was revealed to be the place for the central stake of Zion. It was beautiful rolling land with lush green farmland and trees. There was a small fenced area there with a marker. Here there were temple cornerstones representing the High Priesthood, the Lower Priesthood, the High Counsel, and the First Presidency, these stones were quite large. Joseph was told that the land where he set these stones was holy land. Dad said that it was part of the Garden of Eden, and I wondered what had transpired there to make it a place of such significance.

Our next stop was Adam ondi Ahman. This was a high point overlooking a fertile valley. It was lovely. This place was the place where Adam left the Garden of Eden and where he built an alter to offer sacrifices to the Lord. It was also the place where he gathered his family at the end of his days, and where it is prophesied that he will return to as patriarch of the family of mankind someday.

We next visited Hannibal MO, home of Mark Twain. We saw a museum there which included his family home, and the homes of some of his friends who became the basis of the characters of his stories. Brett, Natalie and I climbed a seemingly endless flight of stairs to a lighthouse overlook, which Brett then discovered had a road which would have taken us up without the stairs. I found the climb an adventure worth having however. We drove around the city for awhile, ending up at the riverside where we waited until 6:30 PM when we boarded a river boat called the Mark Twain for a dinner, some banjo music, and a ride up and down a piece of the Mississippi River. It was beautiful watching the sun set and the colors of the water change. It had a romantic peaceful atmosphere, and I wished that Kirby were there to share the moment. We then drove to our hotel where we retired for the night.

Our first destination the following day was the temple in Nauvoo, where we had an appointment for the 10:00 A.M. Session. That was a beautiful experience. It was unusual to climb stairs into the temple and move up and down on them through out the temple. The rooms are small compared to what I have seen in other temples, and you don't see modern building materials much. The lockers, for instance which are usually metal today, are wooden. The furniture, rugs, windows etc. reflected the styles and colors of the time when the temple was built. The stairs in the temple are a beautiful dark wood with beautiful rug runners. You move through rooms which are painted with scenes of landscapes and God's creations. It is so beautiful. I was so impressed with what the Saints of that time had planned and constructed. I felt so sad that they had to leave such a marvelous temple behind just as they were bringing it to completion, yet at the same time, I was so impressed with what they had been able to build. I'm sure that the 5000 souls who received their endowments and sealings before leaving this place felt it was a great blessing to them.

I was thinking before I arrived, that Nauvoo would be kind of a sad place to see, that the emphasis here would be on the sacrifices the saints made and the abandoning of their city to hostile mobs, but it wasn't. The historical site has been preserved and they have restored what homes were left standing, and rebuilt others. You can see that the saints who lived here were becoming prosperous. You can see that they had worked extremely hard and that they had been happy here. I expected that leaving Nauvoo would have been incredibly heart wrenching for these people, but when reading the comments written on the “Trail of Hope” (which consisted of quotations from journals which were posted on a fence paralleling the street that had once been lined with hundreds of wagons as the Saints fled the city and abandoned their homes). I found that although the saints were in miserable circumstances when leaving the city, and often felt pain for what they and others were physically going through, that their comments clearly reflected hearts which remained optimistic and full of faith and purpose. They were still looking forward to building a great city of Zion in the West. Joseph had prophesied of great cities founded by the saints as they prospered in the west. These cities, which he would ultimately never physically see, he had seen clearly in vision. He had shared that vision with others. The comments of the saints in their journals demonstrated a strong faith in their future and a willingness to continue forward in the cause of righteousness that they were attached to. They remained convinced of the nobility of their cause, and of the ultimate certainty of their success.

My conclusion is that these were strong determined people with amazing faith—and although they were quite human, they had noble souls.

Carthage was also interesting. I didn't find it as sad as I thought I would. Joseph seemed to possess a calm resignation and acceptance of his imminent death by the time he arrived at Carthage. The feeling that I got at Carthage was quiet and respectful. It seemed more a place to honor Joseph's life and to declare the testimony that he left to the world, than a place of sorrow.

I liked that there are plaques as you enter Carthage today that display the historical testimony of Joseph's first vision. This is the same testimony that the mobs tried to silence when they murdered him at this place. Instead of destroying it, it has instead been engraved onto metal tablets and mounted onto stone at that very place. A bronzed statue of Hyrum and Joseph stands nobly in that same courtyard into which the prophet fell, and which today is shaded by large trees and graced by abundant flowers. Loyal followers of the same church, which the mobs had hoped to doom to oblivion by killing it's prophet, stood today testifying of the divinity of Joseph's prophetic calling and bore their own living witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ as brought back to earth under the direction of both Gods and angels to Joseph the Latter-day Prophet.

The trip was restful and had a nice spirit to it. We had a lot of time to visit with each other and share our feelings and reactions to the places where we stopped. We visited the Scovil Bakery, and I learned that Dad was related to the former operator of the business. He was a nephew to Dad's great great grandfather, who had later been bound for the California gold rush when he stopped in Utah and ended up staying with the Mormon part of the family and instead of pursuing his fortune in gold, found another treasure in the teachings of the gospel, and stayed and raised his family there, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

We talked about many things, and sat quietly for other hours, reading, and in my case, writing this journal on Sunday evening.

Tomorrow morning we will arise and after breakfast we will travel to the airport and begin our journey home. I have enjoyed this trip and value the insights it has given me into my heritage, and the reality it adds to the histories that I have learned about through out my life. I also will be happy to be reunited with my family at home, and to regain contact with Kirby via Skype, which I have missed for the last two days.

This is me at the spot where the Saints crossed over the Mississippi River as they began their trek west to Salt Lake City.

This us in front of the Scovil Bakery, which was owned by a nephew of Dad's great great grandfather.

A scene from the Nauvoo site

A room from inside the Browning home, Nauvoo, IL

The forge in the Browning home

Map of historical Nauvoo

Part of the Woman's Monument at the Nauvoo Visitor's Center

Carthage Jail

Joseph and Hyrum

View of the river from the Smith family cemetery where Joseph, Hyrum, Emma, Lucy, Joseph Sr. and others are buried.

The Mansion House

Trail of Hope--markers lining the road taken by the Saints when they were forced to leave Nauvoo.

Statue commemoration the passing of Joseph's vision to Brigham Young which stands facing  the river at the point where the Saints began their exodus to the West.

Ferry and wagon

The Nauvoo Temple

Monument representing Joseph and Hyrum returning to go to Carthage.

Me in front of the Nauvoo Temple immediately following our session.

View looking from temple hill towards the Mississippi River and Nauvoo

Mom and Dad at the temple

Small commuter plane we took to get to the airport on our return trip.