Attachment Bonds

I have been doing some research on emotional attachment. As this is something that significantly effects all of us in our lives and in our most intimate relationships with others, I thought I would share what I have learned with you. As Michael and Shantel adopt a child, this will be good information to know, also for each of you, as you begin to find romantic partners, you should know how powerful these bonds are, and how they are formed. Good luck navigating the relationship jungle. . . :). Love is a wonderful and essential part of our lives, but it really helps to understand what is driving us. This e-mail contains bits and pieces of things I have collected or commented on over several days. It may seem a bit patched together. Hopefully you can make connections to your own circumstances and experiences that will help to create meaning for you. So please--read on:

This is where it started for me: the question that was in my mind today was: What is that invisible thread that connects us to certain people in our lives? What things cause such a thread to develop? What makes those threads dissolve or dissipate?

I was wondering what I could use to describe the concept I had in my mind to others and I wondered if it was a phenomenon that was unique to a specific type of person, or if it would be universal for everyone.

I remember my mother talking about her experience with a similar invisible thread. This occurred when she was emotionally letting go of her children--the proverbial cutting of the apron strings I suppose. After suffering some years of deep concern and pain on her part due to the choices of her children. (Mom had carried these burdens so long and so personally that she felt she needed a release from the feeling of responsibility for her children's actions.) She said that she was in the Celestial Room praying about it when she was basically "disconnected" or given a kind of psychic release from her children. She said it was a very visceral experience like strings of light being broken, "pop, pop, pop." I remember her using those words.

I realized that the first invisible thread that connects us to another person is our emotional tie to our parents, but more especially to our mothers. I well remember my experience as a young mother as I was minding to the needs of small children. There was a constant physical, mental, and emotional checking in that occurred each moment of the day that forged an almost tangible line between myself and my children. I was constantly aware of where they were and I was always sensing for their needs. As they got older, my kids would try to sneak up on me when I was sleeping at night, but I could always sense their presence in the room, and I would ask them what they needed without even opening my eyes. They thought this was weird, but it was just something I could do. When I had an infant sleeping in my room, I would always wake up when they started squirming around in the bassinet because I knew that they were hungry, I would almost always pick them up before they really started to cry so they wouldn't wake Kirby up in the night.

I found upon looking for information on emotional bonding that the research upon this subject is quite extensive and validates the concept that emotional ties are very vital to our psychological well being and our eventual success with human relationships. It is sobering to know how formative those first relationships are and how elemental. Here is a quote:

For better or worse, the infant brain is profoundly influenced by the attachment bond—a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:

feel safe, develop meaningful connections with others, explore our world, deal with stress, balance emotions, experience comfort and security, make sense of our lives, create positive memories and expectations of relationships. Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers don’t have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in tune with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

Bowlby believed that there are four distinguishing characteristics of attachment:
Proximity Maintenance - The desire to be near the people we are attached to.
Safe Haven - Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of a fear or threat.
Secure Base - The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment.
Separation Distress - Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure.

This article goes on to relate the relationship between the attachment bonds we have as infants and our ability to form meaningful relationships later in life.

The study of attachment bonds later in life mainly focuses on couples. Successful couple relationships have to have certain elements to be secure and healthy. These are described as:

the ability to:
manage stress
stay “tuned in” with emotions
use communicative body language
be playful in a mutually engaging manner
be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges

Infants form an attachment to caregivers based on the nature and amount of physical contact they have with others. Infants form an attachment to the person who provides the most physical contact – the most kissing, cuddling, caressing, and so on.

And adults do the same when it comes to forming a romantic attachment. Adults form a deep emotional attachment based on intimate physical contact – kissing and cuddling, etc. If you have repeated intimate contact with another person, you will most likely form a deep attachment to that person. Once an attachment is formed – people want to spend more time together, feel safe and secure in each other’s presence, and they will experience loss when the relationship comes to an end.

Not only that, but it can be difficult to end a relationship, even a bad relationship, because people experience tremendous loss when attachments come to an end.

I am feeling like these attachment relationships are so foundational, that disruptions in them--like the death of a family member, or disloyalty of a spouse, cause us to flounder a bit in our sense of security. Finding a way to put ourselves back into a "secure" position is pretty important, but not always easily accomplished. This is what I have learned:

Attachment relationships appear to be of special importance for the maintenance of feelings of security, just as relationships of community appear to be of special importance for goal attainment. The loss of any attachment relationship would seem to lead to separation protest, one aspect of which is a sense of helplessness and fear. The presence of attachment, on the other hand, buffers what could otherwise be devastating events. In adults as well as in children, attachments appear to be relationships critical to continuing security and so to the maintenance of emotional stability. --Colin Murray Parkes, Atachment Across the Life Cycle.

Bowlby defined attachment as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings” (1969, p.194).

A person who does not have a secure attachment bond as a child will not be able to manage relationships as naturally. This will effect a person's relationships during their lifetime. The identified classes of attachment types are: secure, anxious, and dismissing. Secure attachments are the type I have already described. Here are descriptions of the other two: Overall, anxiously attached individuals are hard to satisfy; you can’t love them enough, or be close enough to them, and they constantly monitor their relationships for problems. Ironically, their need for love, makes it easy for anxious individuals to be taken advantage of when it comes to love and romance, which in the long run can create even more suspicion and doubt.

Finally, people who had a dismissing style of attachment as an infant are likely to form a dismissing attachment to their romantic partners. As adults, dismissing individuals are uncomfortable with intimacy - they actually fear it. They do not like it when people get close, and they don’t like being dependent on a partner or having someone be dependent on them.Dismissing individuals tend not to trust others, and they are more self-sufficient, cynical, and independent in nature. They are less likely to fall deeply in love and need a lot less affection and intimacy. Dismissing individuals are more apt to put their time into their careers, hobbies, and activities than their relationships. They also get easily annoyed with their relational partners and often display negative feelings and hostility toward their loved.

Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed a triangular theory of love that suggests that there are three components of love: intimacy, passion and commitment. Different combinations of these three components result in different types of love. For example, a combination of intimacy and commitment results in compassionate love, while a combination of passion and intimacy leads to passionate love.

According to Sternberg, relationships built on two or more elements are more enduring that those based upon a single component. Sternberg uses the term consummate love to describe a combination of intimacy, passion and commitment. While this type of love is the strongest and most enduring, Sternberg suggests that this type of love is rare.

I guess my marriage is rare for a couple of researched reasons. I think that Kirby and I started out with love at first sight, which moved into passionate love, and at this point I'm quite confident that we have attained consummate love--Maybe consummate love just needs a little more time and effort than the other kinds--that seems likely--if you keep working on it, I think you master it. That seems like a good reason to tough out the tough times, to keep working out the kinks, and to stay in it for the long haul.

So to revisit my original question: What is that invisible thread that connects us to certain people in our lives? What things cause such a thread to develop? What makes those threads dissolve or dissipate?

I've got the answer to all of my questions now:
The invisible thread that connects us to certain people in our lives: this is an attachment bond.
The things that cause such a thread to develop: are physical contact (cuddling), intimacy (sharing personal feelings and thoughts), and compassion (caring for the other person as much as you do for yourself.)
What makes those threads dissolve or dissipate: Security. Security allows the child--or adult to venture out, using the attachment bond as a home base, and to become independent or self reliant. New attachment bonds may then be created that become primary over the old bonds as in the parent child bond becoming secondary to the spouse bond.

There is a natural tension between attachment and independence. It seems to correlate with the opposition in all things idea. We crave independence and need to be independent, but we are also biologically programmed to develop attachment bonds. Knowing both of these things, we may want to be careful. Attachment bonds, once created are not easily escaped--and if not developed can leave us feeling insecure and vulnerable--they can effect our actions and reactions to people in our lives.

Just thought I'd share the knowledge--You might want to ponder on the implications in your own lives, or even do some more research on the subject. I'd be happy to share some of the articles I found most helpful.

My grateful note

Every day, I look into the mirror and say to myself--"You're a beautiful woman."

I am living my happily ever after. I can see it. I believe we all fight for the place where I am at. I have learned that life is long--so we learn to endure the bad days, cause after they're over, there is always a sunrise, or a rainbow. I really believe this. I believe that God loves us, and that if we demonstrate our belief in that love, that all the rest is less important. This life's purpose is to develop character and faith. We need trials. If we hadn't needed them Adam wouldn't have fallen, Satan would not have been allowed to remain here, and Christ would have had much less to suffer for.

I am married to a hero. I am his "favorite." He is doing amazing things. Every day he sacrifices so much for me--to provide for my needs and he also makes significant contributions to his work. He and I can be silent together, we can talk about things, we agree about the big things, and we have learned to "not sweat the small stuff." There's a lot of small stuff, but there are only a few really important things, and we have learned what they are. We love to spend time together. Time-- it has become so precious--so precious. I have lost patience for women who complain about their husbands. I have learned that there is so much to appreciate in what men do for their families, that there is seldom justification in our complaining about what they may not do as well. I have learned to love my man freely, and I have learned that he will do almost anything for that love and affirmation. Men are cool like that. I didn't always see this fully. Now I do.

As for kids. My kids may do some dumb things, they may not choose what I would have them choose all the time. But I am honored to be their mother, and I will love them and fight for them forever. The same is true for my husband. The same is true for my extended family. I believe that I was born to be a wife and mother. That is not a burden to bear, this is my glory and honor. I believe I earned such a place, and I work to maintain it. We should not give up on our children, nor expect that they will not have obstacles to overcome. We nurture them and love them and give them a home. We try to teach them. God gives them life, freedom, agency, and opposition, and he provides a Savior for them.

Satan is a creep. I have nothing but contempt for his tactics. I am wary of him, and I do not discount his ability to mess with us. He has been practicing his schemes for a long time.

I am in a good place. I may spout off at times, but I am not in danger. I am in a secure place. I have my Father watching over me, the Holy Ghost as my companion, and the Savior as my advocate. All is well. All is well.









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My Titanic Theory

I watched a series on the Titanic last Friday, and this week we read a National Geographic Magazine article on her. I decided that the Titanic was built to carry a lot of people, that wasn't her problem. The problem was that she took on too much water and lost buoyancy. I thought about the cause of the disaster that sunk her. The cause of this tragedy had everything to do with the arrogance of people involved. Because the people in command were so convinced that the ship was unsinkable, they failed to take normal safety precautions, such as slowing down and keeping a sharp look out for icebergs after receiving a warning that icebergs had been spotted in the area where they were sailing, and such as failing to have adequate numbers of lifeboats on board, Because of the arrogance of those in command, there was too little warning and too little recourse when they were faced with an obstacle in their pathway. Although they tried to avoid a collision and received a glancing blow; the ship was scored along her side to such a degree that her hull was breached in multiple places. So although she avoided a violent collision, she could not avoid a rapid intake of water. Water came into the ship to such a degree as to weigh her down and swamp her. The water replaced lighter air, and buoyancy could not be maintained. I started thinking about this event as a analogy to life. Some of us are big beautiful ships carrying a lot of people on board, but we need to remember to proceed through life with caution, to heed safety precautions, and to carry life boats. I surmised that the key to avoiding the fate of the Titanic and becoming a sinking ship without enough life boats, is to remain humble, and to remain buoyant. You can do this by obeying council that gives you warning of obstacles in your path, You can slow down enough to watch out for and avoid dangers, and if you start to feel swamped, or feel like you are loosing buoyancy; you can do something to refill yourself with light and air. Don't allow the heavy water of the worldly weights of sin or discouragement to swamp you. Stay full of air, which is light and truth--spirit and hope. Stay light, and you can and will safely carry a large number of people back and forth across the hazardous water multiple times, in perfect safely--just don't go too fast or too carelessly, and watch out for iceburgs. Don't let Satan and his influences breach your hull so that you become swamped and you and everyone else on board your ship goes down in a spectacular but horrifying spiritual disaster.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSGeskFzE0

Bring It On Home

Little Big Town

You got someone here wants to make it alright
Someone who loves you more than life right here
You got willing arms that'll hold you tight
A hand to lead you on through the night right here.

I know your heart can get all tangled up inside
But don't you keep it to yourself
When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me

You know I know you like the back of my hand
But did you know I'm gonna do all that I can right here
I'm gonna lie with you till you fall asleep
When the morning comes I'm still gonna be right here (yes I am)
So take your worries and just drop them at the door
Baby leave it all behind
Baby let me be your safe harbor
Don't let the water come and carry you away
You got someone here wants to make it alright

Someone who loves you more than life right here

Binding Powers

Sister Lemke reported on her mission to upstate New York today in Sacrament Meeting.  From the time she started speaking, I felt that the spirit was trying to send me a message.  It was like he was telling me, "pay attention, you need to learn something!"  As she started speaking I recalled myself at the same point in my life, just returning home from my mission in Japan.  I remembered what it felt like to be at that place and I remembered who I was at that time.  I thought that I, like Sister Lemke, had done my best to serve an honorable mission and I felt that I, like her, was worthy, prepared, and capable of proceeding from that point of my life to make important next steps.

I specifically desired after returning home, to find a husband and to get married and start a family.  I had a lot of friends and I was very happy.  I had a good life--but as I started to focus on completing school, what I wanted more than anything else, was to move into my next role of wife and mother.  I felt certain that the Lord would soon fulfill the promise that  he had made to me in my patriarchal blessing: to be a mother in Zion, and I felt that there was a young man who was looking for me, as I was looking for him, so that we could create a family together.

Sister Lemke mentioned during her talk that she was taught in the MTC that through obedience and diligence that we "bind the Lord."  "I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say."  She said that her teacher asked the missionaries to write a list of things that they would like to learn or accomplish while serving a mission and that he told them they could expect to receive these blessings if they were obedient and served faithfully while they were on their missions.  She said that on her list, she had aimed well short of the blessings she had actually gained from serving the Lord.

I realized that without specifically labeling or recognizing it as such, that I had done something like this myself.  I had basically gone to the Lord after serving my mission expecting him to grant me the desires of my heart and expecting that he would help me find a worthy man to marry.  I laid out to him my offering of service and obedience and explained my readiness and worthiness, and I fully expected my prayer of faith to be answered. I started earnestly praying for this to happen in October or November; and I met Kirby in December.  I "recognized" him immediately as someone I "knew,"  and after only a few weeks spending time together, we both agreed that we loved each other, and that we should make plans to build a forever future by getting married in the temple and having children together.

I realized during Sister Lemke's talk that I had proceeded at that time based on the principle of "binding" the Lord to help me achieve my righteous desires.  I realized that the spiritual message that I was receiving today was a reminder and confirmation of that experience from my past, and that it came as an added  reassurance to me that I had been acting at that time on the inspiration of the spirit. I have seen this sort of system of binding the Lord work in other matters in my life.  Of course, we are not perfect, and we cannot make demands of the Lord like spoiled children, but if we are being obedient and doing the best we can to follow the Lord, we can expect that our most heart felt desires and sincere prayers will be answered by Him, sometimes in miraculous ways.

Sometimes miracles happen over time, and we don't always recognize them for what they are, but when we look back, we can often recognize that a blessing has been recieved, and the spirit can confirm that this is true.  I think that this happened today for me.

I am intrigued to see Bethany following in the same steps I took at her age, as Caryn did as well.  I can see that as each of them have prepared to and in Caryn's case, have served  missions, they have and are expecting and mentally and emotionally preparing to make next steps and move into that next important role in their lives--marriage.  I see my children following in paths that I have walked, and I realize that life is made up of a series of actions and influences.  Positive actions and examples can leave trails for others to follow, even when you are not aware at the time that you are making a path.

I can see so many things that are imperfect about myself and my life, but I have learned one thing, that if you  endeavor to be in the right place at the right time, that the Lord will then grant to you that which is required for you to fill the role you are trying to fill.  He has and is preparing a way before us, we just have to trust Him, so he can direct us and we need to follow that direction when it comes through the spirit of revelation.

I struggle daily to find ways to prioritize my roles and desires, to extend my energy and strength, and to find wisdom to cover more--better.  Everything takes time, but time is not malleable.   What can I do to make time more effective?

Yesterday I was out in my garden.  I have struggled over the past several years to create a flower garden that would self perpetuate. . .a perennial garden of flowers and shrubs that would give me joy, as I have always found joy in the beauty of flowers.  My yard has suffered from neglect caused by business, and from the abuse of dogs, and from the need for added enrichment to a clay based stubborn soil; but yesterday, I walked out into my somewhat neglected backyard and found that my flowering bushes were loaded with blossoms.  Over the past 7 years, many of my plants have succumbed to the obstacles of living in my backyard and have withered away; but there are other, seemingly hardier strains, that are still there.  These plants that have endured are bigger, and stronger and more established than ever before.  They give me joy, and I realize that my life is like my yard.  It isn't necessarily neat and orderly nor is it always well tended.  There are some holes dug in my lawn. The wind has broken some gates.  The dogs have bitten off my sprinkler heads, and a bit  of grass has crept into my flower beds.  There are even some weeds with stubborn root systems which are proving difficult to remove from my perennial flower garden; but in spite of all the imperfections and flaws--the years of inconsistent but continued effort to overcome these challenges has resulted in a harvest of sorts.  Some of those more stubborn and hardy varieties of flowers have made progress despite the obstacles, and I find their blooming to be beautiful and sweet.  They give me joy, and provide beauty to my world as I see them blossom in my life.

Thus I find that time is not only my frustration. . .it is also my friend, for as it passes I have the opportunity to gather blossoms and rest in the shade of trees I have planted. This has happened, of course, between pruning back branches and pulling out weeds, but it has happened.  Why?  Because I made an effort to plant something in the first place, and because I stuck with it long enough to see it grow.

That's how life works--at least for me.

Easter musings

It's been a quiet day today.
I have been thinking about some things.
I like it when I have some time to contemplate and ponder. I haven't decided if this time is useful, or if I could be using time more wisely, but it is what I tend to do none the less.
There have been a lot of ideas rattling around in my head over the last few days, so I am not quite sure where to start from.

I walked around part of the cemetery in Santaquin while I was there. I saw some names of people I once knew on the gravestones there. I thought it strange to think that the only place they had left to claim was that small plot of land that their remains rested in. I thought that they would now care little about the things they once owned, but that their family was something of themselves that continued here that they would ever be watching over.

I went back to "Embraced by the Light" today and looked up a part that I was trying to remember. Eadie said in her book, that as pre-earth spirits we had specific qualities we needed or wanted to develop while here on earth. She explained that certain people in our lives are there to support us in our goals and that other people are given physical or circumstantial challenges to help themselves and others to grow. She said that sometimes very strong spirits are given short lives or physical challenges because they themselves need to grow very little, but the people around them are able to experience growth through overcoming trials they may provide or through helping them and can learn of charity through service or compassion.

She said that the greatest things that we need to learn on this earth are to love and serve each other and to love and accept Christ, who is the door through which we all will return to our heavenly home. She explained that the physical elements of this life were not seen as important before we came here, instead the main focus was on the spiritual lessons we planned to learn or attributes we intended to develop.

Eadie explained that there were relationships that we had built over long periods of time between ourselves and other spirits before we came to earth, and that there were spirits that we aligned with as families or friends--agreeing to help each other achieve certain goals or work out an intended mission while here on earth.

I also read Brother Holland's talk, The Laborers in the Vineyard, today. That was such a powerful talk. I resonated to the message of that talk. It doesn't matter when we get there, or how fast we travel, or what road we take to build faith in our Savior and choose to labor in his vineyard. It just matters that we join the labor force before the harvest is over.

When Kirby left to do contract work in Iraq, I had a sort of Pandora's box that opened up in my mind and heart. It was a box full of hidden things in my psyche that I had shoved in and closed the lid on and would never look at or let out because of the fears and doubts lurking with them. The pains and regrets and disappointments that had been locked up and buried and covered over through time poured out of that box and I found that I had to do something with them. I had to deal with the stuff that was in there. I had to take those things out and look at them, and feel them, and understand why they were there. I had to confront them. The box couldn't be closed or buried any more.

The first year he was gone, I was obsessed with dealing with all of those things. My mind dwelt on them all of the time. Finally there came a time when I started to understand that all of the difficult experiences I went through in my life, were things that were designed for me to learn from. That I had made choices that had taught me lessons. That I had endured trials and taken paths that helped me grow, and that I now had the potential to help others to grow. I didn't need to fear my past, or regret it, or to feel pain from it any more. I just needed to recognize and allow Christ to heal me and make me whole again. I needed to let all of those scary, hidden, ideas melt away into the past, and I only needed to remember and keep the faith that grew from those trials, and the understanding that I had acquired through experiencing them, so that I could know, and help others to understand how spiritual and emotional healing occurs.

Today in Sunday School we had a lesson on Enos. The teacher was trying to emphasize how long Enos prayed and how he heard a voice and he was pointing out that this was a somewhat unusual experience. I made the comment that I didn't think it was unusual at all. That each of us, just like Enos, has things to overcome in our lives, whether it be grief from loosing a loved one, or the pain from sin, or abuse, or illness. We all have burdens that we have to cast upon the atonement of Jesus Christ, and that only through Jesus Christ can we be relieved of these burdens and be healed.

A sister came up to me after the block of meetings and said "You really get it don't you? I want to get it like you do." I told her to come over sometime, and we'd talk. She is a single mother with three kids. One of them is in my Laurel's class and spends a lot of time at our house with Becci. We have talked a few times before. She was a missionary once too. Her husband ended up in jail years ago, I'm not sure why. One of her sons has anger management issues, the other has moved out and is living with another family because his brother beat him up badly. She is working hard to support herself and her kids and dealing with a lot of past baggage along the way. I believe that as members of the church, dealing with the loss of "the dream" is a big deal. We all want our happy ever after ending. We feel cheated when something happens to sour that result, and we look to put the blame on ourselves or others. We become disillusioned and disappointed with what we find is our lot. Sometimes that disappointment is harder to deal with than the actual labor involved in managing such results.

I was made aware, while in Santaquin, that Chad Rowley is going to be a mission president. I am happy for him. All of those boys I knew growing up-- they have made something of themselves. I am proud to have known them. I am glad that I can look at their successes today and not feel badly about being at a somewhat different place along the trail. I can be glad for people's successes. I can realize that lives don't always follow a previously imagined route.

We may be skipping along the yellow brick road, but we must remember that part of the journey involves overcoming the obstacles placed along the pathway, helping others along the trail, and that we may end up getting side tracked by phony wizards at times. We may have to melt wicked witches to get back to the intended goal, and at the end of our story, we may indeed find that we've had the power with us all the time to get to where we want to go--home.

To Kirby,

It was interesting to go visit Lori. George is home and doing so much better. He still has dialysis every other day, but his systems seem to be repairing. He is back to work part time, though he is being careful and is still weak. He came out to talk to me, but couldn't stand too long and had to go back to bed after a bit. He was grateful for everything people had done for him. I think has come to realize how much he matters to people, and that he has a purpose to be here, otherwise he literally would be gone.

Apparently the most notable change, according to his family, is his change of heart. Nothing like almost dying to make someone learn to appreciate the value of their life and loved ones I guess. He has become more gentle and kind, and their family seems to be happy and at peace. That is a great blessing.
I stood in Lori's little house, which was literally full of people, Kyndra and Landon and their two little ones, Erika and a couple of friends, one of George's girls,Tae, Meagan, Becci, and I and Lori and George were all in Lori's front room, and it didn't seem crowded at all. It just felt happy and right.

We have so many blessings, the gospel, our families, literally our lives, our health, our ability to love and be loved. I am grateful for my privilege to have the chance to live and to have such an amazing family--two families, or three. My family, your family, and our family together. What great people we have the chance to be connected to!

I got to hold Lori's new grandson. He is at home too and doing well. It is always such a peaceful thing to hold a newborn. They are so calming. It seems like we may have crisis in our lives when we need to grow--or when we need to learn great lessons that make us grow, and that shift our focus to the things that really matter.

I am so grateful for you and to you. I feel privileged to be the one to be yours and to join with you to make a life and a family together. I feel that you are such a mighty soul. You have and are overcoming such amazing obstacles and have passed difficult tests. You are becoming a mighty being, and I get to spend eternity with you. I am excited at the prospects of our eternal future together.

I love you,
Sherri