Be Generous With Expressions of Love

Sunday we had a Relief Society lesson based on Linda K. Burton's talk in April 2015, "We'll Ascend Together."  Our teacher led a discussion about marriage partners and we discussed ways that we can lift and support each other as husbands and wives.

During the lesson, I was strongly impressed to share an experience from my own life.  This is the experience that I shared:

There was a time in my life when my husband, Kirby, stopped telling me he loved me.  In fact, he told me that he couldn't say he loved me, because he wasn't sure that he did.  He said he wasn't sure he had ever loved me and he doubted if he knew how to love.

This attitude lasted for about a year, so for about a year, my husband did not tell me that he loved me.

This was a terrible year.  My marriage nearly fell apart during this time.  I became increasingly insecure, defensive, and unhappy.  Kirby became more and more angry and depressed.  I began to lose hope for our marriage's future--and I had never been hopeless before.  This was a dark time full of conflict and painful experiences.

I now fast forward in time about 12 years and everything has changed.  My husband, Kirby, tells me he loves me every day--multiple times a day.  He also tells me I am his favorite, and he expresses appreciation to me for things that I do and for who I am.  I likewise express gratitude and love for him daily and we are happy, and I feel extremely blessed.  My life is full of light and happiness and I feel completely secure in our marriage.  I have hope and joy in anticipating our eternal future together.

This dramatic change in our lives did not happen over night.  It did not happen easily, but it did happen, as we gradually learned to acknowledge the reasons we love and appreciate each other, and as we decided to speak and act with love and forgiveness--taking the Lord's atonement into our lives to lift and cleanse us. In so doing, we have completely transformed our marriage from a dark and dreary burden to a source of joy and love.

Today, I am convinced of the immense power of expressing love freely and generously to one's marriage partner. I hear excuses for not doing so, such as: it may become trite; it doesn't feel natural to me; my family just doesn't say those things that often. My response to those excuses are: It will not become trite--it will become more and more powerful.  Expressing love will become natural, and your family should say these loving words often--that is how they will become internalized and be believed.

We came from our Heavenly Father's presence. There we were surrounded by love.  We were born into a family, who, if they were doing their job properly, welcomed us with love.  We are meant and designed to function best when operating in an environment that is filled with acceptance, appreciation, and love.  Love does not have some kind of limit to it.  We can give love freely and never run out of it. In fact, the amazing thing about love is that it increases as it is shared.  Why do we tend to be so stingy with it?  Especially in our marriages, we should serve it out regularly in big heaping amounts. It doesn't make us fat, or cause us to be spoiled. Love just makes us happy, and confident, and secure.  I'm convinced it will make us healthier, and more beautiful, and more joyful.  I have seen all of this happen to me and my beloved spouse.

Please tell your spouse that you love them every day.  Express gratitude daily for the things they do for you and the sacrifices they make on your behalf. See what it will do for your marriage.  It has saved mine.