An hour a day is all we ask.

“An hour a day is all we ask.”

This is the line that my husband, Kirby, repeats over and over as he encourages me to exercise every day.

Kirby started exercising about 18 months ago when he was evacuated from the embassy in Baghdad due to security concerns brought on by the increasing threat from ISIS in the area.  His trip home was delayed for some months last summer and his regular work routine interrupted by the increased security. Stuck in Bosra due to visa problems, he and some colleagues found themselves with time on their hands. They started spending several hours each day at the gym working out.  Kirby greatly increased his strength and fitness during this time, and he has continued to include exercise and fitness as an integral part of his schedule ever since.

During the same period, I was also working on improving my eating habits and counting calories.  We had both improved our health and fitness during this time—but I was struggling to achieve a pattern of regular exercise.

“An hour a day is all we ask.” Kirby would say, to encourage me to exercise daily.

With that phrase in mind, I started to work out.  Each day I would ride my elliptical and lift my hand weights and I would watch the clock on the wall.  After one hour, I would be done.  The result was that over time I got stronger and trimmer.

I began to include other things in my schedule as well--things that I could do daily to strengthen me in other ways.  During November of last year, I began posting a gospel thought to Facebook on a daily basis.  This required me to spend time each morning studying a gospel topic, so that I could find a thought to post.  This small habit has brought the spirit into my life in greater abundance and through it I have developed a love for studying the gospel.  Over the past year, I have developed a stronger desire to pray, to listen to hymns, to read gospel centered books, and to do service for others.  This has occurred because I feel the spirit as I start each day with gospel study, and being reluctant to lose the spirit that I have invited into my day, I then try to do other things that encourage it to stay with me.  I now feel the burning of the Holy Ghost in my heart most days, for a few hours a day, and I tend to recognize promptings and use them to guide my days--paying more attention to them than I once had done.

I have had music callings during the last year.  These callings have required me to practice the piano and organ more often.  One of the callings has been to play for the choir.  These songs are difficult for me to learn.  I have started to include daily practice of the piano into my routine.  I am increasing my proficiency in playing the piano, and developing a stronger love of gospel music at the same time.  I have found that hymns, and lyrics of hymns are in my mind much of the time.  This has been a great blessing to me.

I spend time talking to Kirby each day, generally an hour or more, and I often get the chance to talk to other family members or friends as well.  This is also uplifting to me.  I especially love sharing some of the things I am learning with them, and being inspired by them in return.

Now I find that my days are full of good things.  I am happy.  I enjoy time with my family, I learn, and I develop daily.  This is a good life.  I still struggle to accomplish all of my goals, and I pray for the energy to accomplish work and tasks that are mine to do.  I am trying to add regular writing time to my day, and I have been trying to add yard work, and house work to the daily routine in a way that will keep everything balanced and running well for our family and our home. 

I have not perfected my plan completely, but I have learned a lot. 

“An hour a day is all we ask, “ has served me well this year, and I expect it will continue to inspire me towards good works and positive outcomes for many years to come.

Thank you, Kirby.

Being and Doing

A few weeks ago I went on a retreat with a few friends.  One of the activities that we did while there was to find a place outside and spend some time with nature to, "See what nature would teach us."  I walked up a farm road a few hundred yards, and set up my camp chair next to an irrigation canal. Tall rugged mountains were directly in front of me; an orchard was to my left; farmland was behind me; and a few miles down the hillside I could see the freeway.  I could see cars and trucks flowing past on the interstate system by turning away from the mountain to look down into the valley. In this place I sat for some time and wrote down impressions. One of the impressions that I recorded was: "People are busy--always going somewhere.  Nature just is.  It fulfills its purpose by being not by doing."

I have thought a lot about this lesson that nature taught me since that day.  I keep finding connections to my nature lesson as I study the scriptures and ponder the correlation between being and doing. I made a list the other day of gospel concepts that involve being and others that involve doing. This is my list (it is not exhaustive):

Being:
be humble
be obedient
be pure/chaste
be honest
be faithful
be believing
be still
be prayerful

Doing/Actions:
obey
labor
seek
serve
teach
love
give
walk/run
do good
build up
sew/reap
knock
ask

So today I was thinking about this again and I decided that the being and the doing part of being righteous are inseparable, that you cannot do good unless you are good. Sometimes I think we lose the balance between the two, and we end up doing things without tapping in to the reason that we're doing them.  Then we lose the joy in doing those things, and we end up without root, all top, easy to pull out of the ground.

I have been weeding today.  We have big weeds in our side yard.  Some of the weeds are easy to pull because their roots are shallow and their tops are big and heavy, but others I cannot pull up by myself, I have to dig them up or cut them off because their roots are too deep or too wide and spreading.  I think that we can compare these weeds to my concept here.  The tops of the weeds are the doing part of life.  Everyone can see this part.  There are seeds that grow here, and can spread out and create more of the same thing.  The roots are like the being part.  They keep the tops nourished and firmly grounded.  Both parts of the plant are important, but the roots are hidden away.  Unless you are an experienced weeder, you may not recognize by sight alone which weeds have complex root systems and which are easily pulled up after a bit of rain softens the soil.

I think that in the same way the concept of being righteous grounds us and keeps us strong in doing good works.  Good works naturally spring from the good desires of our "being righteous" hearts.  If our hearts and desires are not good or if we are hiding unrighteousness, we can still do good things, but our actions spring mainly from the desire to appear good rather than from actually being good, and this goodness is shallow.

I have been reading the teachings of Paul lately for Sunday School.  He teaches about the law and the spirit, and that the law cannot save you by itself, that you have to have the spirit.  He also talks about the need to act from a place of charity in order for our works to be of value. Jesus spent a lot of time decrying hypocrites, which were people who appeared to be good, but who didn't actually act from a place of goodness--therefore their works weren't actually accounted to them as righteous acts.

Elder Scott said:"Righteous character is what you are. It is more important than what you own, what you have learned, or what you have accomplished."

I think that nature is teaching me some important lessons here about the importance of being. Taking time to become, not just to act, is something we have to think about today. We have a society full of going and doing, but we tend to lose focus on what people truly are. I think that we have a tendency to get out of balance, and when we lose balance, we struggle to find joy in our lives and purpose for all of our living.

So, in all of your doing today--don't forget to take some time to become, and just to be.

Yes, but. . .answers

Have you ever been given a “Yes, but. . .” answer.

A “Go ahead, but be warned that the way ahead is not easy.” answer?

One that is akin to God commanding Adam and Eve not to partake of the forbidden fruit, when the instruction was basically:  Don’t partake of this fruit, but it’s your choice, but be aware that if you do partake of it you will die, but it’s your choice.

I believe that this kind of prompt is given when we can gain much by making the choice to go ahead with the hard thing, but that there is also a risk that we should be aware of before we proceed, and if we proceed anyway, it is our choice, but God has warned us that the way before us will be difficult and hazardous.

I can think of two instances that I was given a warning like this:

The first was when I married Kirby.  I got a strong “yes, but. . .” answer.  I had a strong prompting that Kirby was the one I was meant to marry, but I also got a strong “There is something wrong with him.” warning at the same time. I got this “Proceed with caution.” warning several times during our courtship.  It first occurred when Kirby and I were just getting to know each other.  We went for a walk to the park one evening and Kirby was talking about himself.  I had a strong impression come to my mind which clearly stated: “Something is wrong with him.” It came as one clear thought.

The next warning came the day he asked me to marry him. I hesitated answering him on that day because I wasn’t sure about him, and then on the way home as we were talking Kirby expressed some doubts about his own worthiness that really concerned me, but after praying about my decision over several days, I felt prompted to proceed and gave him a yes answer and I felt good about it. 

That night I talked to his mom on the phone.  It was so weird.  We were announcing our engagement to our parents over the phone, and Iola asked me the question: “Couldn’t you find someone better?” She has since denied that was what she said or intended to say, but it was shocking enough to me at the time that I clearly remember it happening. This made me feel pretty defensive and protective of Kirby, however—so I guess that warning backfired big time.  I think I felt more committed to my decision to proceed after that. What was happening here that would make a mother say such a thing? I couldn’t imagine why a mom would do that,

Finally, the last warning was at the alter in the temple, I had a big hesitation moment during the ceremony when the enormity of the commitment I was making hit me really hard, and I was made really aware of the fact that I didn’t really know Kirby very well.  I thought about backing out even then, and I didn’t think that that was a normal thought to be having over the altar.  The decision that I ultimately and repeatedly made to continue my course despite these repeated strong warnings that Kirby had some unknown problems that would be challenging for him, and that would be difficult for me, speaks volumes to the strength of the bond that I felt toward him to counterbalance the warnings. This bond was established over a very short period of time and was based on the other side of the revelations I was receiving that Kirby was first, someone with whom I had had a relationship before we came to this life; second that I had chosen to walk this path with him before my life began; and third, that he was the person who made me feel whole and complete.

I have since come to understand that the choice of who I would marry was mine to make here on earth, as it was in the pre earth life, and that I was given information that made me aware, both here and there, that this choice was not going to make my life easier, and that it was completely my choice whether I was to go through with it or not.  I was given a prompting to proceed, yes, you found the right guy—which contained a strong warning attached. I did not understand fully the full weight of my decision or my warning until much later in my life.  I have since had that decision reaffirmed.  This has occurred in recent years, and the growth, strength, and knowledge that I have ultimately accumulated because of the difficulties Kirby and I have overcome together has become extremely valuable to me at this point in my life. I feel that Kirby and I have grown, both individually and as a couple through the things which we have suffered due to Kirby’s bi-polar disorder, and that the overcoming of this challenge which we have experienced has provided, and will continue to offer critical learning experiences for us both spiritually and physically.

The second time that I had a blessing which was accompanied by a warning which occurred at the same time happened when I got a priesthood blessing before Bethany was born.  I was given a blessing that reassured me that all would be well with the baby, while at the same time receiving a strong sense that something would go wrong but would ultimately be okay.  This also turned out to be true.  Bethany was a strong and healthy baby—but we almost killed her through some dumb medical decisions—which were made based on an inadequate understanding of what was happening during that delivery—luckily Bethany made it--after a life flight to Spokane and spending 9 days in the NICU, and ultimately everything turned out okay and she suffered no permanent harm. Again I learned some valuable lessons through that experience. I have always believed that Bethany also has been a stronger person because she had to fight so hard to stay here on earth in the first place. I really believe that this is true.

The point of my story—“Yes, but. . .” answers happen.

That’s my musing for today.

Obedience and Agency

As mortals we have our agency.  This is a God given right to choose our own path.  While we are on earth, we have full freedom to choose good or evil--God does not control our choices.  Opposition of good and evil exists in this life, the one in contrast to the other.  While we are mortal, we are being tested to determine whether we will choose good or evil. With each choice we are able to observe the consequences of our choice and we can also witness the actions of others around us, even as viewed throughout history, and we can see the consequences of the actions of a lot of different people. We are meant to learn from this experience and to become wise enough to learn to choose the good over the evil by our own will.

God has also given us commandments to help us understand what we should do while we are here.  He has sent prophets and has had them record His revelations to them. He has explained the laws that should govern us here. He has promised that blessings will follow obedience to His laws, while sorrow, and captivity to evil and to man's physical carnal nature will result if we indulge in sin.

We have complete freedom over our actions and reactions while we are in this life, but we do not have control over other's choices.  We do not have control over the governing principles of this life, such as physical laws, or natural consequences, nor are we at liberty to redefine good and evil. or to alter God's purpose for our being here.

When we die, we are finished with this mortal life, but our eternal life continues.  We will be assigned to positions of responsibility and allotted an increase in intelligence, power, and influence after death based on how well we have demonstrated a wise use of our agency here, or in other words if we have learned to be submissive to God's laws and have freely chosen to be governed by them, we are given unlimited resources after this life and eternal unlimited potential to continue to learn and grow and exercise agency.  If we have failed to comply with heavenly law here on earth, we are given a limited range of agency in our next life, and a limited potential to learn and grow.  Our agency will be measured out in the next life according to the ability we have demonstrated here to wisely manage our power of choice.

Prayers

I am at a place in my life where I can look back over many of my important life events and see them in the context of a greater whole.

I have been struck recently with the number prayers that I have had answered throughout my life, sometimes in rather remarkable and immediate ways, other times in ways that took rather significant amounts of time to realize.

Going back in my memory, the first that I remember an answer to prayer occurring was around the time that my family moved to Santaquin, UT--so about 1971. I would have been about 12 years old.

I remember feeling deeply lonely one night due to the move, because I didn't have any friends yet and everything seemed so different to me.  I remember praying and expressing my feelings of sadness and loneliness in my prayer. I said to Heavenly Father,  "I really need a friend right now. Would you be my friend?"  The feeling I got then was like being enveloped in light and warmth.  It was so overwhelming and powerful that it scared me a little.  I thought an angel might be about to appear and I was a bit nervous about that. I got up and went into the bathroom.  I had tears running down my face and I very much needed a tissue, but I knew from that time on that Heavenly Father was, and wanted to be my friend.

The next time I had a prayer answered was when my Dad was Bishop.  It would have been a year or two later perhaps.  I was working on personal progress for Young Womens, which was then called MIA (Mutual Improvement Association).  I had started reading the Book of Mormon, and was trying to pray for a witness of the truthfulness of the book.  I was trying to get a spiritual confirmation, but nothing was happening.  I had a personal progress interview with my Dad and we were discussing my testimony.  I guess I explained the troubles I was having, because he said this to me about gaining a testimony: "Sometimes we are standing in the rain and we're asking Heavenly Father if it's raining." That's when my witness came. The spirit testified to my spirit in that moment that I knew, that I already knew the gospel was true and that the Book of Mormon was true--I didn't really need to seek another witness--but I could, in confidence, rely on that which I already believed to be true--because it was.




I am reading a book called "journey to the Veil" by John Pontius. I really am learning a lot from him. I liked the concept I read this morning: "This principle of asking with complete faith for those things that we have already been promised is of such transcendent and magnificent power in parting the veil that Moroni actually says it twice. (Ether 12:19-21) We take the teachings we receive and live them in our lives. . . Then we return in mighty prayer and having been obedient and faithful in all things, we courageously petition the Lord with perfect faith because He, the God of salvation promised us that we could. . . we petition the Lord in mighty, mighty, prayer--and we receive the promises." I recognize this pattern in my life. There have been times that I have asked for a specific blessing based on my faithfulness, and I have always received (generally rather quickly) the blessings I petitioned for. A few times I had to wait for them, but often I had already passed through the trial and was ready to receive the blessing--I just had to ask. Some examples: When I asked for an answer to whether or not I should go on a mission--I used a patriarchal blessing promise to get that answer, and it was immediate. When I wanted to meet my future husband, I used my mission efforts, and my Patriarchal Blessing promise to pull that blessing down, and it happened almost immediately. When I desired to move from Vegas for the protection of my faith and the faith of my children, I prayed for that blessing, and it happened very quickly afterwards. When I prayed that Kirby would return to activity in the church and to re-enter the temple, I was told to be patient--and it took 10 years--but it was fulfilled exactly as I was told it would occur--exactly. When I was worried about Bethany being in the eye of the hurricane on her mission, I was told to pray for angels, and I am convinced that angels were there. If you look in your own life, you will start to see how your prayers are answered. If you have been promised blessings, you have the right to call them down from heaven if you have shown faithfulness in following the commandments and feel that you are ready to receive those blessings. This is a true principle.

Healing Through Faith in Jesus Christ

I know that when Christ heals me, He heals me completely.

I know that when Christ cleanses me.  He cleanses me completely.
The cleansing and healing of Jesus Christ are performed according to our faith, 

so it may occur in layers as our faith develops sufficiently to allow it to happen.

Gratitude Journal Continued

Why I am grateful for Michelle

I am grateful for Michelle’s purity and faith.

I personally have been strengthened by her pure, childlike faith over the years.

Michelle has the ability to perceive and discern truth, and to follow it in order to walk rightly.

I am grateful for her ability to create beautiful things, and her ability to follow instructions to repair or build things.

She is very intelligent and she uses this intelligence to plan wisely, to remember details, and to improve things.

She is very perceptive.

I am grateful that Michelle has chosen to focus her skills on being a mother at this time, and I can see clearly the benefits that Toby receives from her devoted care.

I am grateful that Michelle has found her soul mate and is finding joy with him in building a family together.

I am grateful that she is creating a gospel centered home, and that she is an example to others by following gospel teachings and receiving the blessings of obedience in her life.

I have the deepest respect and admiration for her.

Why I am grateful for Caryn

I love Caryn’s exuberant spirit.

I am grateful for her ability to connect to people.

Caryn has a strong talent for communication and is willing and able to take control of a situation and create organization out of people chaos.

I am grateful that she and I can talk openly about many subjects.

I am grateful for her companionship as we have taken temple trips together.

It has helped me become comfortable going to the temple again.

I am grateful for her talents, which are many, such as music, photography, teaching, and being a good friend.

I appreciate her determination, and admire the way she goes after what she wants and achieves it, without needing outside prompting or encouragement. She is a self starter and finisher.

Caryn has a way of making many people of differing backgrounds feel accepted and a part of her circle.

She has always been a person who has challenged the status quo, and marched to the beat of the drum that she hears.

I will always expect great things from her.

Why I am grateful for Kyle

I feel a great debt of gratitude to Kyle for picking up much of the burden over the last 6 years that Kirby hasn’t been able to fully carry since he has been working overseas.

I am grateful for the many practical skills that Kyle brings to the table such as mechanical knowledge, carpentry skills, welding, driving, and other skills that have proven to be so valuable to our family.

I am grateful for his willingness to work hard, and to be precise and careful with his work.

I am grateful for his generosity of spirit and his willingness to give of his time for the benefit of others.

I am grateful for the example he is to his siblings and his friends and for the light he holds up, which is his faith in Jesus Christ and his determination to follow Him.

I am grateful that he is finding success in his employment, and I look forward to watching him continue to succeed in many areas of his life in the future as he continues on the path he has set for himself.

Why I am grateful for Bethany

I am grateful for Bethany’s helpful and kind attitude.

I am grateful for her desire to gain knowledge and to challenge herself.

I am grateful for her true compass that always seems to point her towards good works and productive ends.

I am grateful that she is anxiously involved in doing good and has a desire to serve God and others around her.

I am grateful for her happy spirit and joyful ways.

I am grateful that she comes to me to share her experiences and to ask questions.

People are drawn to Bethany, because she personifies goodness. She has a true and honest heart, and a pure love towards others.

I am honored to be her mom.

Why I am grateful for Meagan

I am grateful that Meagan likes to be home—like me.  She is a comfort and help to me.

Meagan has helped me so many times to teach 3^rd graders, or to do a project I needed to do for Young Women’s, or for a family reunion, etc.

She is amazing with little children.

She takes care of Diesel.

Meagan has so many talents, mainly self taught, that I am repeatedly amazed at her ability to gain such proficiency through simply developing an interest and investing time. These interests include drawing and painting, both traditional and computer aided, computer animation, playing the piano, movie and story critiquing, even shooting and taking apart guns, or running a chop saw. Her interests are varied and wherever her mind leads her—she can develop proficiency.

I remember being surprised when she, on multiple occasions (including her confirmation blessing as I recall) was promised by priesthood power that she would become an influence in her community, but I am no longer surprised, only waiting to see that promise fulfilled as she continues to develop these wonderful talents that she has.

Why I am grateful for Becci

I am grateful for Becci’s determination and for her independent spirit.

I am grateful that Becci has a strong will and is not intimidated by others.

Becci does not back down from what she believes to be right.

She will defend others from injustice, and will, without hesitation, step up and step in to help someone in need.

Becci has a talent for having fun and enjoying life.

People are drawn to her for her bright happy spirit and her beautiful smile.

Becci has been tested in her youth in difficult ways, and has come through her tests with stronger faith and more wisdom.

I trust Becci to make good decisions and to follow them through, because she wants to do right, and to learn and grow in truth.  She has good desires.

Becci is like the cherry on top—like an added bonus on a bowl of ice-cream, in that she tops off the family with a bright, shiny, pretty flourish, and give us an extra measure of pure pizzaz!

I love to see her take on the world.

Why I am grateful for Shantel

It is wonderful, as a mother, to see your children find spouses who complete them, and who have complimentary talents and desires.

I am grateful that this has happened for Michael.

I am grateful for Shantel’s persistence and determination in pursuing her goals.

She doesn’t seem to weary or falter.

She dedicates her time to those pursuits that are the most valuable to her, and she has prioritized her family and her children-- first to obtain the children in the first place, and then to make sure that every effort is being made to aid their progress and enrich their lives.

Surely God is pleased with her dedicated service and determination.

I am grateful for Shantel’s example of courage, pure faith and love, and for her commitment to her family, both her immediate, and her extended family.

She has been, and is, a blessing and example in my life, and in our family.

Why I am grateful for Sammy

I’ve liked Sammy since the first time I met him.

I always thought he and Caryn would make a good team.

I like Sammy’s quiet strength, and his steadiness.

I am grateful for his desires to do good works and to be fair and honest.

Sammy is not afraid to work hard.  He sees what needs to be done and he does it.

Sammy gives back to people and he is loyal.

Sammy looks for ways to make improvements in his life, and then he implements these improvements.

Sammy is observant.  He pays attention.

I am grateful for Sammy’s honesty, integrity, and patience.

I am grateful that Sammy has a true compass that helps him find his way—which compass is the Light of Christ.  I am grateful that he has learned to follow that compass, because it has taken him out of darkness into light, and as he continues to follow that light, he will find that it will never fail him.

Why I am thankful for Emmett

I have to admit, it was a little weird when I first met Emmett, because he and Michelle were so well suited--so much alike in mannerism and expression that it was very evident, strikingly so--and quite surprising.

I am grateful that Michelle has clearly found her soul mate.

I am grateful for the way Emmett treats Michelle and Tobit.

I am grateful that he is loving and kind, and that he clearly treasures them.

I am grateful that Emmett works hard to provide for his family and has made it possible for Michelle to be a full time mom.

I am grateful that Emmett honors his priesthood, and makes church duties a priority.

I am grateful for Emmett’s talents, which are many—such as computer programming, cooking, and communication skills.

I am grateful that Emmett clearly treasures his extended family, and is anxious to serve and help others.

I am confident that Emmett will lead his family well, and be a great husband and father.