The Deer Hunter (a humorous expository piece) written by Kirby Crowley 1994

The rifle deer hunt in Utah is almost a state holiday, observed by nearly every male and many female residents.  Many BYU students, as they witness the annual frenzy for the first time, consider Utahns barbaric.  As a transplanted Utahn and a convert to the hunt, I have learned to classify Utah deer hunters by method and purpose of hunt into the following groups: the beer hunter, the road hunter, the traditional family hunter, and the back country hunter.  As most hunters of all classes are male, I will use the masculine gender in the following descriptions.

The Beer Hunter

The beer hunter is noted for the massive quantities of alcoholic beverages brought on the hunt and the amount of ammunition carried--either not enough to do the job or enough to outfit a small country's army.  Other notable qualities include lots of loud talk and laughter and shooting at anything that "moo"ves.  The beer hunter is in one way like the animals of the forest:  He marks the boundaries of his camp well.  Stay very far away from this class.  His purpose seems to be to remember very little of the event.

The Road Hunter

The road hunter begins his hunt on the drive up to camp, the night before the official opening of the hunt.  He is often up before dawn, cruising the back roads of the high country (and sometimes the back roads of town) looking for his easy prey.  He is to be thanked for his contribution to the Department of Fish and Game in the way of fines for shooting during illegal times.  Riding in the back of a pickup or with the barrel of his gun sticking out of the window, he is ready for the easy shot.  The extreme road hunter will even insist on an uphill or level shot, making it easier to recover the kill.  His purpose is to get the easiest kill in the valley and spend as much money on gas as possible.

The Traditional Family Hunter

The traditional family hunter goes with the entire extended family, camping in the same place year after year, usually at the spot where Grandpa took Dad years ago.  The only family members excused might be pregnant women or mothers with very small children.  They establish their camp early the night before the opening, and get up before dawn so they can hike to their favorite rock or stump just as the sun comes up.  Their pockets are full of trail snack, ready for a full day of patient waiting.  When there are family members not yet old enough to carry a rifle, but big enough to make the hike, these younger members will often be used as "dogs" to flush out the deer during the middle of the day.  At the end of each day, the hunters return to camp, where dinner, campfire stories, and roasting marshmallows finish the day.  Their purpose is to spend time together and perpetuate the family tradition of the hunt.  They occasionally bring home meat, which is shared among all the family members.

The Back Country Hunter

The back country hunter is the serious sportsman.  He begins his hunt months before by selecting the area to hunt, where he and only a close friend or two will scout out the trophy deer he intends on taking.  Over two or more weekend scouting trips, he will identify the habits and watering holes of the chosen prey.  He and his friends will establish a base camp in the area one or two days before the opening of the hunt, and are prepared to travel several miles into the back country in search of a single deer.  Bucks smaller than the intended trophy size are passed over in search of the one previously identified.  The back country hunter is fortunate if he came on horseback, or hauling the carcass out can be a long day in itself.  (Not having a horse only gives him another good hunting story to relate to lesser hunters through the years to come.) His purpose is to bring home a trophy, stories, and the toughest, wildest deer meat.

Every type of hunter seems to enjoy the hunt for his own reasons, and come home with stories to tell and sometimes meat for the table.  Whichever type of hunter you are, or will be, do remember these three things: most important, hunt safely, second, have consideration for the other hunters out there, and third, have fun.