This story really begins in the summer of 1982. I had returned from my mission to Sapporo Japan in July and was planning to get back into school at BYU when the semester started that fall. I had been planning on living with a friend from my mission, Kathleen Kerr, who was staying in a house with a group of girls. However, I found out that the cost of living there was going up in the fall, and I couldn’t afford it. So I was out looking for a place to live within walking distance of the Y long after most students had signed their housing contracts for the coming school year. I visited multiple apartment complexes, only to be told that they were full for fall. I was driving down off the hill from campus one day when I stopped at a stop sign next to the old Reams apts. I had had a good friend of mine live there back in ’79, so I was familiar with them. I had a strong impression to turn in and ask if they still had rooms available, so I did. I stopped at the office, which was open. I asked about rooms, which they had, and I went over and saw a unit. The price was right and I signed up that day. I felt strongly that I had been led to find just the right place for me to live.
Although there were 6 girls in an apartment usually, I had been put into an apartment with just 3 girls, me and two others who were friends and shared a room. I ended up with a room to myself. I liked it there. The ward was nice and I was close to campus. Things were going well. I was still writing to Rick weekly, but there was no actual commitment there, so I was looking around and dating a little as the opportunity came up. I had not been interested in anyone I had met so far.
I went on a few dates with Martin Crowley in November. His apartment had this weird antic that they did occasionally where they would hang out in front of their apartment and hustle girls as they walked by going to school. Martin approached me in this way and so I took on the challenge. He was asking me if I wanted to get together sometime, and I said yeah, sure, but I told him I didn’t believe that he would actually call me because guys never do follow up on a scheme like this one. So anyway, he called that night. We went on a few dates, but he was too forward, and after a few weeks, I told him I was writing to someone and he would be back soon. He didn’t ask me out anymore after that, but he did come by the apartment to flirt with my roommate Ann. She would cut his hair for free. She was really cute, but she had a serious boyfriend. She and Marty were friends.
One evening in December 1982, I had fallen asleep in my room studying. I was woken up by voices upstairs. Ann was cutting Marty’s hair and I could hear them talking. Kirby was also there. (He was in town to ski for a month or so before he went to basic training.) I needed to come out of the room, but the floor plan was really open and when I left my room Marty heard me downstairs and called to me to come up and meet his brother Kirby. I was not excited to do so. I was in sweats, I was wearing my glasses, and I was rumpled from sleep, but I didn’t know how to avoid it, so I came upstairs and curled up in a chair and silently began to watch the proceedings. Marty and Ann were talking and laughing. Kirby was sitting on the end of the couch near the kitchen listening to them talk too. No one was paying any attention to me, but I was paying a lot of attention to Kirby. That is when I got a strong impression that I knew him, the only way I could describe it to myself was, “I know him from the pre-existence.” When I thought that, it felt right, and I felt like he was important to me in some way. It was like I could “read” him. He seemed to be just as uncomfortable and out of it sitting there as I was. I was intrigued. I decided to get to know this person better, but later, when I was prepared. So I noticed him around for the rest of the week. He was having fun and hustling girls, but he didn’t notice me. That was okay, I had a plan.
Sunday morning I got up and got ready for action. I had this purple dress and high heeled shoes that I had made pre-mission. It was designed to get attention from guys, and it usually worked. I put that on, did my hair and make-up and went to church determined to get re-introduced to Kirby. I did this by flirting with Marty, who was of course with Kirby. Kirby, surprise, surprise, didn’t remember me, so I got introduced again. We went off to Sunday School together, and I sat by Kirby. I remember Marty saying something like: “Hey, she came over to talk to me.” Really, I had come over to talk to Kirby. As luck would have it Kirby and I sat together in Sacrament Meeting as well, and after Sacrament Meeting Kirby was talking to some friends about going skiing the following week. Hmmm, “but I LOOOVE skiing!” Guess who got asked to go skiing? Yep, me. Guess who spent the rest of the afternoon with Kirby, yep, that would also be me.
Funny thing was, that after that evening Kirby started feeling something too. If I remember my history correctly, correct me if I’m wrong honey, he spent some time that afternoon, before dinner, on a rock up on Y mountain thinking about me. Pretty fast connection I’d say. We spent a good part of each day together after that for the rest of the week. We had a great time skiing on Tuesday, and may I say, snow was not the only thing falling that day. I was falling hard for this guy Kirby.
This was before Christmas. Kirby and Marty were planning a trip home for Christmas. My best friend, Rick, the missionary, was coming back to BYU in January. Kirby can probably help me with the time line here, but Kirby and Marty went home to Othello, WA for Christmas and they were planning on coming back to Provo after New Years. Kirby decided to come back early. He called me New Years Eve from Provo. He asked what I was doing. I was planning on tending my nieces and nephews that night while the married couples went out to a movie. Kirby said he’d come over if I’d feed him. He showed up about 9:00. I guess we ate and Kirby and I played the game “Othello.” He won. The next day I had planned to go skiing with my brothers, but I was going to have to leave mid day. I had to buy a full day pass, so Kirby left me a hoodie to wear the next day skiing. I was picking up Rick in the afternoon. Kirby was going to meet me at the resort and use the rest of my day pass. I slept with the hoodie that night. It smelled like him.
The next day was crazy. I remember giving Kirby the hoodie back at the resort—Here’s where I consult my journal. I met Kirby at 1:00 at Sundance and gave him his hoodie. Rick was going to arrive at 3:20. I remember driving up to the airport. Torn Between Two Lovers came on the radio. I hate that song, but I really hated it that day. I didn’t know what to expect with Rick. We had been pretty close for a long time, but we had been separated for most of that time. I was wondering how I would feel about him, and how he would react to being back with me. Kirby was a pretty strong pull, but Rick had some real history. I had no idea what would happen. We were both pretty nervous. I picked him up and took him back to his new apartment and dropped him off. I met him again later that evening, apparently we ate at my place, and then went back to his apartment where we talked and unpacked and exchanged some gifts. I remember that his apartment was cold. I just remember feeling so cold. I was on the floor in front of the couch. His wallet was sitting nearby. I decided to look through it at the pictures he had inside. There were girls, several of them. All pretty blondes. No pictures of me. He saw me looking. He explained that in the mission they carried these pictures to ward off young girls. Okay, but who were they? Rick seemed to like blondes I thought. He did finally get around to giving me a kiss, but it was a pretty nervous one. By then I was really cold. I just remember trying to keep myself from shivering. I wanted someone to just hold me and warm me up--from the inside out.
I left shortly after that. I went straight to Kirby’s apartment. I told him I thought Rick and I were just friends. He invited me inside and held me in his arms on his lap in a big chair. He kissed me. I was finally warm. I felt like I had come home.
Turns out I had invited Rick to church the next day. It was Sunday and we had 8:00 church; he thought he might need more sleep than that, so I invited him to Sunday dinner. When Kirby found out that Rick wasn’t coming for church, he wanted to come in the morning. So we had Kirby over in the morning until about 4:30 and Rick that evening for dinner. Mom said that Rick seemed like a comfortable old friend, but that Kirby made her nervous. Did she see what was coming? According to my journal, after I took Rick home that evening, I dropped by and read scriptures with Kirby. I don’t remember this. The next morning Rick and I went over to the bookstore together and apparently Rick and Kirby met each other at my apartment that morning, though I don’t remember that either. After that the sequence of events gets a little foggy in my head, and I may get some of this out of order.
(Kirby's edit--January 5, 1983. ) Apparently the feeling was shared, because that night as he prayed Kirby asked if I was the girl for him. He said he didn’t get a yes, so he asked what if he didn’t pursue me. Then, he said, he got a really dark feelig.
Apparently I forgot a date with Rick some days later. I remember thinking he was sick, but maybe that was out of order too. Apparently he came by to pick me up and I was out. He came by like the next day and I was on my way out the door with Kirby. I was wearing a sweater that Rick gave me at the time. It was a bit of a shock for Rick. I told him I would talk to him the next day I believe. Rick and I met on campus as arranged, and we ended up having a talk on the lawn by the bell tower. I told Rick about Kirby at that time, and explained that I really liked him. Rick was pretty surprised. He had not seen this coming, and to tell the truth, neither had I.
January 8, 1983. Kirby took me to the Deseret Gym with his Aunt Margie and her roommate. We played racket-ball, swam, and ran the track. I got pretty mad at Kirby that day because he was spending a lot of time with Margie’s roommate, and I felt neglected. When I told him I was mad, he actually got pretty giddy about that. I was jealous, and he loved it. He took me out to dinner and then to temple square, where he proposed. I was still pretty annoyed with him, so I was astonished that he would propose that night. I told him I would have to think about it. We had a long talk on the way home. The next Monday we went rollerblading with the ward. Kirby showed up that afternoon with matching shirts, they said I’m hers because. . .and I’m his because. . .and then there were check boxes with choices, I can’t remember what they said. I remember thinking that he was pretty anxious to claim me, and I wasn’t quite sure I was ready to publically make an announcement, but we wore the shirts.
(Kirby's Edit-- January 11, Tuesday evening, I accepted.)
By January 16, Kirby and I were engaged, but we weren’t sharing the news yet. I still had a date with Rick that Friday night to go to the temple. Friday was a good night for me, not so good, as it turns out, for Rick or Kirby. In my mind I spent time with a great friend. We had a good talk, and I told him I was going to marry someone else. As far as I could tell, we began it and ended it as friends. I felt so sure I was right. Kirby spent the night riding around town on a bicycle waiting for me to come back from the temple. He had all of his clothes packed up in his car in case I changed my mind while I was up there. I didn’t. Kirby and I announce our engagement that night to our families, but Rick was the first to know. I told him before he left.
I just always thought that God had his hand in this. I was at the right place, at the right time, and we both got hit with thunder bolts. If I had been anywhere else, or if the timing had been off just a bit, history would have been re-written. I find that amazing and fascinating. I can only think that God’s hand was guiding us all.
Sherri—Jan. 2010
