The concept of I

Ideas percolating out of my brain since reading Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand

To say "I love you" one must first be able to say the "I."--Ayn Rand:

Love your neighbor as yourself.

If you do not love yourself, you cannot love your neighbor; therefore abuse is any act that compromises another's ability to love themselves.  If you compromise a person's ability to love themselves, you limit their ability to love you, or to a degree, anyone else. In relationships criticism or disloyalty weakens the foundations of love, because it undermines self esteem.  If we want our spouse, children, or others we lead or teach to achieve success, find happiness, or if we want them to love others and be kind and compassionate; we must teach them the value of their own selves.  We must teach self love.

People are drawn to things that they do well because these things validate themselves. If you want someone to be drawn to you, validate them.