Building a bridge

THE BRIDGE BUILDER
An old man, going a lone highway,
Came at the evening cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim-
That sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when he reached the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim near,
"You are wasting strength in building here.
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way.
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head.
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been naught to me
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him." 

-WILL ALLEN DROMGOOLE


In January Brandon, Kyle's friend, moved out of our house and back into his mother's house.  He started going to school and he found a girlfriend.  These were positive things.  He had had a year here, which allowed for he and his family to pull themselves together a bit after the suicide, and it was time for that to happen.  A few days ago, Kyle told me that Brandon was going to move to Cedar City.  His grandfather owns condos there, which he rents out to students, and Brandon could use one rent free as long as he was going to school there.  He is planning on moving there with his girlfriend.  This is the second of Kyle's best friends to choose to live with girls without marrying them.  It is common among my nieces and nephews as well.  

The issue that has been in my mind lately is how have we devalued marriage to such an extent that our children are choosing not to engage in it at all, and that they see so little value in obtaining a formal marriage relationship, that even when they have children together they  often continue in an uncommitted union.  What have we done to this generation to create this great lack of understanding?

I looked at the photo album of Rick's father's life the other day, and I thought about his father and mother, and how they sacrificed everything--their lives, their talent, their intelligence, their live's work to create, build up, and support their family.  What did they leave behind them?  Tall, educated, capable people, who are their legacy, and their lives' work, and their heritage.  What a great example their lives have been.

I think people of the past understood the sacrifices required of families better than we do today.  The founding fathers of this country sacrificed all for the founding of this nation, not so much that they would enjoy it's benefits, but that we, their children would.  The same is true of the LDS pioneers sacrificed to obtain a land of promise to maintain and pass on their faith, and our parents' and grandparents' generation who felt it their duty to preserve peace and freedom for future generations and fought wars in an effort to preserve peace and freedom.  They always seemed to understand the importance of dedicating their lives to the generations to follow, and the value of prioritizing their children, and family.  What has happened to us, that in a few decade's time we have lost that kind of vision?

When a man leaves this life, we do not post pictures of his property and say, look, what a great man.  We look to his children to see what kind of man he was.  How did he provide for them?  Did he see that they were educated, loved, taught?  Are they an honor to him?  That is what we see of a man--or woman.  Why don't we teach this to our children?  Why don't we teach them that marriage, for all of it's struggle; and children, for all of the burden they bring us, are the only real and lasting legacy of our lives?

I am honored to be married to a man who understands sacrifice and who gives so much for his family and who has served honorably his country and his fellow man.  I feel blessed to have honorable and kind hearted children.  Marriage and family is not just a convention, or a tradition.  It is not just something to do because society expects it. it is the core, the heart, the essence of why we are here and who we are.   

Just Thinking,

Sherri